12 year old's friends may be bad influences

[oneinamillieon]

dd2 is 12 years old. she recently started year seven in secondary school and back in late september she told me a group of girls in year eight found her alone on the bus and sat down next to her, invited her to join their group. i didn't think anything of it other than that they were older than she was and might boss her around a bit. since then dd has been acting a bit off eg. hiding her phone and talking to me less, also falling behind a bit on homework. id had a few talks with her and she'd promised to catch up. didn't think much of it all until dd1 (16, y11) told me she saw the year eights hanging around without her, passing around a vape and laughing about how the last time she'd been there she'd declined a puff. i myself have been in that situation and it didn't end well. anyone have any advice?

[oneinamillieon]

typo, i'm referring to dd3 who is 12, not dd2. please ignore!

[oneinamillieon]

bump!

[obladeeobladah]

Talk to her! Let her know the ur 8s were making those conversations and get Dd1 in on the conversation too.

[BethDuttonsTwin]

Can you move schools? I know that sounds extreme but I have had two go through secondary and once these things are entrenched it’s really hard to unstick them.

[oneinamillieon]

4 month later update: i spoke to the school multiple times and they haven't done anything (🙄) so i will likely be moving her in september (or possibly homeschooling, although i'm not exactly sure i want her homeschooled)