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Bullying

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To arrange a playdate

7 replies

ManyClouds · 14/09/2023 09:18

Looking for opinions. DS has been bullied by another within friendship group on & off. Sometimes they get on great sometimes not so much. Don’t think DS is entirely innocent but not sure if it’s reacting to other child. Feel like it’s never ending. They also fight over another friend. This has been on & off for 3 years.
We have involved the school which have tried mediating but I feel they are now fed up. This is what is making me think DS is not entirely a victim. Other child claims to feel left out. DS also claims this within the group. Apparently other children do not get involved or take sides.
This is where I am looking for advice or experience. Would it be mad of me to arrange a 1-2-1 playdate for both of them a few times outwith school with other mum ? No intentions of discussing issues. Arranging in hope that it helps them get to know each other and quit trying to be in charge of friendship group or fight over friends.
DH thinks it’s a bad idea as if we’re backing other child. I think it might rectify the power struggle.

ps
Both strong personalities

OP posts:
ManyClouds · 14/09/2023 14:55

Bump

OP posts:
Tiredmummy201 · 14/09/2023 21:26

How old are they ? Personally if your DS was ok about it and thinks the other boy would accept the invitation I would try it .. could find that they ll be fine just the two of them but it won’t change anything when they back in the group but don’t see how it could make anything worse. If you’re friendly with the other childs mum then could ask her opinion too ?

ManyClouds · 15/09/2023 08:39

They are 8 years old. I’m really in 2 minds about it all. Don’t know if i’m being overly optimistic or if it actually might work. I don’t think they’re going to be best friends but hoping it’ll take the heat out of this constant power struggle.

OP posts:
gato21 · 18/09/2023 09:55

did you end up doing the playdate? I'm in a similar situation and am wondering the same thing. Maybe by doing it on neutral territory (bike ride or similar) they will work out their differences. Wouldn't leave them unsupervised though!

ManyClouds · 19/09/2023 21:21

I’m still thinking about it. At the moment I don’t think there’s to be anything lost from doing it. However it’d be a neutral place like softplay.

OP posts:
gato21 · 20/09/2023 08:00

I think I would be cautious about soft play - there are too many spaces that are out of sight. Perhaps that is me being a bit too paranoid.

It might work, at least they can see that they can be in the same space and interacting without negativity.

I'm still thinking about it as well!

gato21 · 11/10/2023 10:24

Just to let you know - we did go through with a playdate and they played nicely together. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for the longer term!

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