Daughter being ostracised as someone made up she was racist. Complicated.

[Ezzie100]

Hi,
daughter started in first year last sept. All going well till march when her 2 main friends stopped talking to her and started stopping others from hanging out with her etc. it got quite mean. This went on all year and is still going on. And my daughter kept asking what this issue was but they didn’t tell her. Anyway, it is a good few students now who are ostracising my daugher. Anyway, we eventually found out that another girl told a load of people that my daughter was racist and was making awful racist comments about her original 2 main friends. The 2 original friends are also victims I know, but they don’t believe my daugher when she said she didn’t say any of these things. My daughter has been crying all year, saying she is sick so she doesn’t have to go in, and leaving school early. She’s not sleeping and thinks the whole of her year thinks she’s a racist. Can anyone advise or give an opinion. I have emailed the school now. As it is a sensitive issue I would appreciate your perspectives. I am aware how upsetting It has been for the 2 girls also. Also, I am totally sure my daughter didn’t say any of these things, they were many things said and there were phrases used we had never heard of.

That sounds awful. What year is your dd in?

I think you might have to speak to the pastoral Manager at the school while it's been going on so long . Just hope it can get sorted for her .

We had a similar experience with our ds. This needs to be sorted out by the school as it had a really negative effect on him.

I would contact them and organise a meeting with you, your DD and the Head of Year (or whoever is the relevant pastoral support). Explain exactly what has happened.

God, how awful. Poor girl, dealing with this for a year.

I agree that you need to speak to the school. There needs to be some mediation and some getting to the bottom of who said what to whom.

Realistically, it's going to be almost impossible to vindicate her here. Even if there was definite proof that she hasn't done anything. It's always going to be there. Does she want to go to a new school?

I offered the new school idea to her. It's just a pain because the school is very good and literally 5 minutes away. She has two good friends that seem really nice who believe her. ( They are now also being ignored) I'm hoping she'll hold her head up high and laugh at the sillyness. I've emailed the school now for a meeting. I think I just need to vent. Thanks for the replies. I've heard of other things happening in first year like people being called fat etc. It seems awful. I don't remember such awful things going on in my day ( 1988 lol😃) or maybe it went over my head.