Is this how it starts?

[JimmyJam2019]

My 6yo DD does not have any solid friendships at school and we aren't getting help from school (I've asked about this in a SEN thread). She doesn't have a diagnosis of any neurodiversity, this has been dismissed but has some sensory quirks.
She appears to be marginalised socially and she isn't invited to playdates, birthday parties on account I believe she got very upset at a whole class science party because of bangs and her sensitivity to balloons, for example.
She has been pushed at school when she's tried to play with kids who don't want to play with her.
I just worry, it's going to get worse?
I can't force her to make friends or engineer playdates and put unnecessary pressure on other kids to play with my DD.
What can I do or get school to do? The pushing they've dismissed as one-offs and say she's playing with kids. I think she still plays alongside rather than with.

I’m a primary school teacher, I’m sorry the school haven’t supported you better but I want to reassure you that at 6, a lot of children will be similar. They are just working out social cues and how to form relationships and these are very fickle, a child can go from being the most popular in class with all the friends to no friends over almost nothing. It’s unfortunate but it’s part of them navigating friendships. The pushing is unacceptable but id take the schools word for it being a one off for now, if it happens again then definitely make more fuss.

How does DD feel? Does she say she feels left out? Does she notice she doesn’t have any solid friends?

Does DD do any extra curricular activities? The environment at something like Brownies is very different to at school, you might find she has more success forming relationships there

@ALS94 Hello - just jumping on here as I was interested in what you said as a teacher. In what way is the environment different at brownies to school? Why would someone be able to make friendships there rather than at school?

@IWantToMakeTheBestDecision This goes for extra curricular activities in general (in my experience).

It’s usually a smaller amount of children so they are less cliquey and the quieter children that may get overshadowed in school have more chance to be heard.

The children tend to have more in common because of the shared interest (especially if it’s something like dance, football etc, they get very passionate about it) so it’s less of a forced friendship.

They spend less time together so the time they do get is more precious, the school day is long and the children have lots of time to bicker and fall out.

Also they often come from all different local schools, so there’s no predetermined friendships.

@ALS94 that's really interesting. Thanks for replying.

@IWantToMakeTheBestDecision I think having something in common helps. If you do horse riding then you talk about the riding skills or horses etc rather than just trying to form bonds hoping you have something in common and bond over