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Bullying

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Had to pull child out of school

8 replies

Mishoola · 19/11/2022 13:29

Looking for advice - Social bullying

We just had to pull our 12year old daughter out of school.

We found out about the mental health issues it caused before we found out about the cause - social bullying.

She was bullied and then completely dropped by her friend group. She has struggled to make new friends with the old ones still bullying them and being hostile (glaring, standing between my daughter and the other person) to anyone they see speaking with her.
They made up rumours on a false Snap Chat account and then said it was her.
stole one of her hearing aids.
made up stuff about her.
tried to make her do mean stuff to other children - such as throw their school bag in a pond. She refused.
Stole off her

I am absolutely gutted for her and , if being honest, angry that the children who did this get to stay.

The school did step in when we found out what had been going on.However it had been going on for a year. Initially they started off with nice chats with the perpetrators then they saw an incident caught on their CCTV and realised how serious it was. They had nearly documented enough incidents for the children to be expelled but our child couldn’t cope with anymore.

She is at home now and just so low. She had some lovely friends in primary school but two have moved abroad , one has moved to the other side of the country and the other lives an hours drive away. We are waiting for a place at a school , but 2010 was bumper birth year so it might take a while.

We want to get her back to feeling hopeful and positive , get her out there again but she is too anxious to join clubs and only just started coming out of her room.

She has highs and then lows. She is under CAHMS/HCRG and receiving counselling. Just at a loss how to help her get.
Was thinking maybe there are classes or courses out there for children to learn about healthy friendships and how to build them.

Not sure what to do, any advice is appreciated.

OP posts:
XelaM · 20/11/2022 12:56

Oh no, how horrible! Didn't want to read and run. My daughter is also 12. Does your daughter like animals? Horse riding can be really therapeutic and my daughter met her closest friends at Pony Club.

Mishoola · 23/11/2022 09:08

Thank you XelaM, will look into it x

OP posts:
EmTteapot · 27/11/2022 11:37

I’ve just taken my 12 year old daughter out of school for the same reason. I’ve made the decision to home educate now as she isn’t mentally healthy enough to try another school at the moment. I also recommend horse riding or just being near horses generally as a great therapy…. It’s literally saved my daughter in recent weeks and she gets a lot out of it. So sorry your daughter is having to go through this x

TeenDivided · 27/11/2022 11:48

Expensive, but my DD had 'equine assisted therapy' which was counselling in a field of horses and relating things back to them.

Mishoola · 08/12/2022 11:49

Em Tteapot, thank you for taking time to answer, so sorry to hear you daughter is going through a similar situation. It’s heart breaking what bullying does. Well done for supporting her.
Am definitely looking at the horse thing. Thank you.
hope everything starts getting better. X

OP posts:
Mishoola · 08/12/2022 11:51

Thank you TeenDivided.

OP posts:
LIZS · 08/12/2022 11:54

Have you appealed for a place? If you applied for a school and were turned down you should be able to. Does she have an EHCP?

Mishoola · 08/12/2022 12:30

Hi LIZS,
We initially tried home schooling but it didn’t work for her. We have literally just been given a place at a new school. DD started yesterday.
The school are aware of everything and have a initial structure in place with a view to review in January or before if required.
Trying to build up her trust and confidence again. Going to try Horse Therapy.
She is still super shy and tearful but she is really determined to make a go of it.

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