School bullying

[Daiisyd]

Hi my granddaughter has just started secondary school and 2 of her so called friends from her junior school have started being very unkind to her and sending awful text messages, her mum wants to go round to see the parents, could this make the situation better or worse ? advice/experiences welcome thank you.

I did do this once, my daughter was 11 and being bullied badly but out of school, mainly on the bus.
This was pre mobile phones!
I had tried via the school who were useless.
I went to see the parents, they were shocked, upset and stopped it immediately.
However there were plenty of parents at the school who I would never have approached.

As a teacher in a secondary school I would advise you to approach the school immediately with names and details, including texts etc and not approach the parents. There is absolutely no guarantee they will be reasonable.

Please go via school rather than via the parents, the school should have an anti-bullying policy published on its website and that will cover electronic communications as well. Even if you know the parents well and feel comfortable discussing it you should contact your daughter's form tutor with screen shots so they know what is going on and can keep an eye on the situation.

My DS in Y9 has recently been bullied by his primary school friend plus at least one other (there was a bit last year but I didn't know the extent to which his ex-friend was involved until another child mentioned it, DS confirmed it and it has escalated this year). I contacted the tutor again and I was very impressed with the response. DS has totally lost confidence so he is going to be sat with one of the nicer boys in every class and the school have put him in a special group where they learn to improve their confidence and social skills.

I feel a bit guilty at not speaking to the mum first as we know each other fairly well, but she's not there when it's happening, the school are.

@Sago1 Ofsted are very hot on schools tackling all forms of bullying, so they tend to be a bit more on the ball than in the past. If a school doesn't deal then you need to escalate up the chain (tutor, HOY, Head, Governors, Ofsted).

I would be horrified at my children bullying but I wouldn't want to be confronted about it by another parent.

Not all parents will investigate this. If their kids use an app like Snapchat (very popular with teens), there will be no proof of what was sent. Some parents won't believe you even if you had rock solid evidence so going to the school is best.

Bloody hell… this sounds like a potential scene from eastenders.

no op, your mother should not “go around” to the parents

she should behave like an adult and refer to the school