8yr old called stupid

[SS80]

Hi all.
feeling very sad for my 8yr old DD . DD has always struggled with the learning at school, particularly maths. She has a best friend, Emily whom she adores. We’re good friends with her parents and we do a lot of things together. My DD has just told me that Emily often asks other kids in the class who they think is smarter between them. They always say Emily, then laugh at DD and call her stupid. At playtime, Emily publicly asks her maths questions. When she gets it wrong she gets laughed at again. She’s crushed. I’m going to very carefully broach this with her mum but feel very awkward about it. Do you thinks it’s worth discussing with her teacher as well? Any tips on how to help DD directly? DD is my eldest and this is the first time I’ve had to deal with something like this. Thank you.x

A word of advice, I really wouldn't discuss it with the parents. I've been there and done that and it always ends badly.

My dd has similar problems and it is bullying. It's worse when their friends do this! You should really record everything and keep on at the teacher about this until it is sorted out.

My dd also struggles with learning and is frequently mocked by her 'friends'. She has an older brother who is disabled and the 'friends' have made fun of her for this too. These children are nasty.

I would check with the teacher before doing anything at all. I'm sorry to say my DS(7) and all his friends are CONSTANTLY debating who is faster, who is stronger, who is better at football, who is better on the climbing wall, and each of them wants to focus on the thing they themselves are good at. I wish they even cared about intelligence. My son gets upset because he is not the best at football or going across the monkey bars, and he is tired of people going on about that, but in the next breath he is rubbing their noses in the fact that he is faster.

It is a graceless and competitive stage and I would make sure your DD's hands are clean before intervening.

Thanks all.
I’ve spoken to the teacher. He’s going to talk to the whole class about behaviour and kindness. He’ll check in with me in a couple of weeks and if it’s still happening, he’ll talk to this girl individually. And yes, I appreciate I only have her side of the story. If she’s more involved then she’s letting on then I need to know that too.
the two of them are still best friends so it’s complicated!

We had this approach, talking to the class about kindness. Tbh it didn't work, I think I would push for the teacher to sit this other girl down and speak to her directly. Your dd may suffer in school if the school don't tackle this head on.

Friends do bully, it happens.

It's great that the teacher is monitoring it. The best thing is if they overhear this behaviour that they pull her up on it immediately and very clearly. So easy for 8 year old to brush aside generalities like "be kind".

It is disappointing that they are so quick to try and big themselves up by putting others down. I realise it stems from insecurity but it is deeply unattractive!