DD ostracised by long-term friends

[Anthropomorphize]

I'm sure this subject has been posted up here many times but none-the-less I would really appreciate some advice.

My DD has just started year 10, and her core friendship group of 5 has turned their backs on her. Quite literally today, when one of the girls deliberately blocked her at lunchtime from engaging with the group. She achieved this by sitting with her back to my DD and even backed further into her. They have been friends for many years, going back to and including time at primary and middle school.

They've been ignoring her messages and even started a new WhatsApp group without her.

DD has always found it hard making friends, my advice to leave the group has landed me in hot water. I'm a Dad and will happily admit I don't understand how teenage girls function socially. One thing which is clear to me - it's very different from boys or at least what I can remember.

DD explained that walking away will likely subject her to more gossiping and nastiness. Therefore it's a delicate, and at times humiliating situation for her, where she's effectively clinging on. It's hard to imagine kids would treat others this way, knowing how upset they can become. Depressed even.

It breaks my heart to see DD like this. We know the parents but I figure interference is the worse strategy and will very likely backfire. The only option is to therefore let it play out.

I'm hoping some of you can share similar experiences and maybe share tips on what to say to DD. I guess I really want to hear someone say it will pass.

Does she have any other friends?
Friendship group etiquette is tricky. She may have done nothing wrong at all, but if her face no longer fits, she will have to make new friends. There's no dignity in clinging on.
If she does find friendships hard - then there may have been any number of unwritten rules she has transgressed.
If she can, I would encourage her to cultivate some new friendships and make some alternative plans for break times. Lunchtime clubs? Homework/library. Does she have friends outside of school?
It's very damaging to self esteem to be in this position. I do feel for her.

It might pass. It might not.
I wouldn't involve other parents at this point. Kids can choose their friends but it's brutal to have friendship withdrawn.
I personally would say don't accept the crumbs these girls are offering. Accept it might be a bit hard for a while. Develop some new friends, especially through shared hobbies and interests (you can't just parachute into a new group without a way in).

Walking away wont 'subject her to more gossiping and nastiness'. If they've picked her as their target this will just continue until she walks away and finds some new friends. Even if she's friendless for a while, it's better than her current situation where her self esteem will just continue to be eroded.

Girls can be vile. It will be as simple as it’s her turn. The others bond in animosity, whether they want to or not, to make ‘the group’ stronger. After a couple of weeks, another girl in the group will commit a major faux pas - buy the wrong shoes, what the wrong nail varnish, or speak to the wrong boy/girl and then your daughter will be welcomed back and the other girl bullied.
Your daughter has two choices either wait it out or walk away. It is really horrible but it’s all about establishing female hierarchies and lots of female animals do it.

Tell her form tutor and Head of Year at school. Not because you want them to intervene just now, but because it's important that they are aware and can keep an eye out for your dd.

Your dd should not try to cling on. The other girls will just play cat and mouse with her. Look up 'relational aggression' - this is what's going on. Best just to pretend she doesn't care and keep out of their way. Hang out with some of the nicer/kinder boys if necessary. Join in with a lunchtime club. Go to the library. Just keep away, and stay away. She might find one of them breaks away in a few weeks too...

Your DD could approach one of the “nicer” girls when they’re alone and outright ask what’s going on. If she’s brave she could say she won’t put up with being bullied and that she won’t stay quiet if it carries on, to show strength. There’s usually a pecking order, but get one alone and they usually have no guts or admit they don’t agree with it.