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Bullying

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Girl stalking and blackmailing my teen

5 replies

Ithinkiminlimbo · 30/06/2022 18:07

My teen, lets say K, is a F in year 7. They joined a new primary school in year 6 due to us moving so had to make new friends.
K made friends with a couple of girls with learning difficulties and another girl who was a loner for reasons ill explain soon.
The friendship group was ok, except the loner girl was a bit bossy with K and I said to them, well you don't have to play with her if you aren't keen on them, if you gave them a fair chance then that's fine.

Anyway, onto year 7, her friends with LD go into separate section of the school and their breaktimes rarely align, so she is left with the other girl.

This girl, called B has ODD, oppositional defiant disorder and her treatment of K has turned even worse. They will steal from them, hit them at school, drag them about school and has completely alienated K from making other friends as they have tarred them both with the same brush. B has told fibs about K to stop other people hanging with them, like she's racist or gay, which also causes her to get bullied by her peers.

K has said to her many time that she doesn't want to hang with her and after a few incidents I spoke to her parents, and we agreed we should keep them apart, except B follows K EVERYWHERE. she has a copy of her timetable and waits for her after lessons, waits for her after school, and if K doesn't walk or hang with her she threatens her with lies so she does.
B is also still thinking they are best friends and that even me and her mum are best friends, wen I cant stand her mum, but thats a different story.

I have spoken to the school and they can't do anything as she's not breaking any rules but my daughter comes home crying as she hides in the library every breaktime as B is banned from there til year 8 and has no chance to even try to make new friends.

This one student is ruining her life and her parents are unable to control her, she's also apparently a pathological liar and has called the police and ambulance at home when she doesn't get her own way and doesn't listen to any body.
K is also now seeing a counsellor and getting CBT for self harm and I am at my wits end.
We live in a village location and I am in no position to home school.

Any advice would be great. Please excuse any mistakes in my text

OP posts:
StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 30/06/2022 18:14

Find the school bullying policy. Follow it to the letter. Arrange a meeting and ask how they plan to keep your dd safe. Dont let them pull any shit like teachers accompanying her to lessons. Shes done nowt wrong. Make them escourt B to her lessons. Your dd is selfharming because of the damage being done.

PragmaticWench · 30/06/2022 18:17

The other girl is inflicting psychological damage on your DD and the school need to sort this. Properly sort it. For this to have reached a self harming stage is unbelievable.

Changedmynamefor · 30/06/2022 18:23

Back to the school and get them to take this much, much more seriously. She needs somewhere safe to be at breaks and an escort between classes. At our school if you are a young person in a situation like this you have open door access to the guidance base for your house if you want somewhere to go to be safe or just “decompress” for a bit.

cansu · 17/08/2022 10:46

Can you change school? It sounds drastic but it might be the only way.

Dilbertian · 17/08/2022 11:00

I have spoken to the school and they can't do anything as she's not breaking any rules

I'm sorry but that is complete nonsense. It is the school's pastoral responsibility to safeguard your dd and help her to achieve her academic potential. If she is distressed she will not be able to do this and it is the school's job to intervene. B doesn't need to be hitting your dd to be bullying her. She is blackmailing your dd - that is bullying. She is lying about your dd - that is bullying. She is coercing your dd - that is bullying. B is certainly breaking school rules, even if she is not hitting anyone.

All your school's policies should be available on their website. Study them, particularly bullying, pupil welfare and complaints, and follow up every avenue you can to have the school take action to safeguard your dd.

They are swerving their duty to your dd.

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