2 Years of Bullying At State Primary

[HackneyFolks]

Hey all

Our DS2 has been the victim of bullying from a particular child in his form for nearly 2 years now, we've reported it consistently to the school, taken a log of events, pulled him out of school for weeks on end to raise the issue but the events still happen and have progressed to physical assaults.

The bullying child has some kind of special needs, was permanently excluded from previous primary school and has to be accompanied by a nominated care worker (not sure what his qualifications are though) at all times around the school - when this care worker is absent for whatever reason, our kid ends up on the floor assaulted. Even with his help it seems to be by all accounts a permanently brewing situation that involves daily verbal as well as physical intimidation.

It's not just our child that gets attacked but he seems to be the focus of the problem - our child is forced to sit at the back of the class to avoid the attention of the bully and is as a result falling behind with his work and complains that he cannot see the blackboard clearly.

This is a horrendous situation that we don't think the school is at all able to deal with, and doesn't have resources to do so - what makes it tricky is that our child loves his other classmates and has long term friendships with them dating from before this bully was brought into the class after his previous exclusion - to pull him out of the class or school would feel so counterintuitive and unfair.

After literally dozens of calls from us over the last 2 years since this started, the headmaster of the school has suggested that we speak directly with the bullying child's parents to convey the severity of the problem, but we dont think we should have to do this, nor do we feel comfortable in that situation. The school is generally good, our other 2 children have been very happy there and we do sympathise with the staff, headmaster and indeed I suppose the bullying child's parents who must get endless reports of the bullying but we cannot continue to see our child attacked, bullied and victimised on a weekly basis and are at a loss as to what we might be able to do next to escalate this without getting the school into trouble - any help or advice would be very gratefully received!

best

You need to escalate to governor's etc. School have a duty of care to keep your child safe. You should not be contacting the bully's parents. Is there any chance if changing classes? Or is it a one form entry?

Personally I would be changing schools though, either immediately or certainly in September. No matter how much history I had with the school or my child having friends there, it will be wrecking their confidence, self esteem etc. Imagine turning up for work daily and basically having to hide so you didn't get beaten up. I'm surprised that they are still willing to actually go to school.

thanks for the response Forestdweller11 - really appreciate it.

Im so sorry you are going through this. FWIW we had almost 2 years of bullying at our small state primary, including physical (he had been moved in clas also). Our DS (Y2) has been at his new school for almost a month and he is a different child entirely and he seems really happy and loves school. Moving wasn't something we wanted to do but felt we had been left with no other choice. It was the best decision we could have made for our DS after getting nowhere. We might have pushed harder reporting to Governors but we had lost all faith that anything would change and didn't want to leave it any longer given the change in DS's personality and clear anxiety about it all.
I wish you the best of luck that things get better. It's great you have everything recorded and I'd suggest contacting the governors to make them aware of what's going on if you haven't already. I'm sure it wouldn't be a case of getting the school in trouble - it may help them get more resources or support to deal with the situation.
Good luck OP 🤗

Thanks so much Nyorks

@HackneyFolks

For this to be escalated everything needs to be in writing.

If you have an email from the ahead stating you need to deal with the parents then this needs to be addressed with the governors , since this is happening on school property and the head no longer is able to deal with this.

Also look into their website and review their policy on anti bullying. This is a must- since this is what the school should be adhering to and is approved by the governors.

Follow the process of the bullying policy but make sure everything is formally documented.

If your child likes the school abs is happy to stay then I personally would not move for dc but I would definitely action the process on the policy which should be advertised on their website.

Is moving schools an option?

Thanks Blubell46 - just worried that by going to the governors, we're going to get the head in trouble - they're a really great head in every other way and obviously finding it hard to deal with this situation - would it reflect badly on them for a parent to speak with governors? and no CaptSkippy, thanks for the message but ds loves his school and has so many friends in class it would be so harsh to pull them out based on someone bullying them in our opinion.

I think that getting the head into trouble should be the least of your concerns.

Speaking to the bully's parents is not a good idea either. If the bullying has been going on for two years, the parents will already be aware of it and so far, no improvement has been seen.

It's the head, and other teachers, who are failing to protect your child.

I would definitely be looking for a different school. It's not harsh if you are protecting him from being bullied. He will soon make other friends.

@EastLondonFolks

I understand but the Head is not your problem. If you are concerned and think this is tricky then please please refer to the anti bullying policy which should be on their website.

Follow the process and then you are complying with their rules!

You speaking to the parents is not your job especially if this is within school times. That is why there is a policy for these reasons. Please read it and follow it .