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Bullying

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Bring bullied by friends

1 reply

Howarewenotthereyet · 28/01/2022 22:33

My DS is 6 and being bullied by two friends. It started with one friend and has spread to another. My son has been withdrawn and it has massively impacted his esteem, self confidence and memory. He has not answered a question about friends or school for months. We found out by him blurting bits out. And observing things. And him telling us about what is happening through some characters he's created.

School are involved but as it mainly happens in the playground it's hard for them to catch. My son seems to put up with it as he's so ground down he sees it as things he's done wrong and he's loyal so he doesn't report it.

Thing is he will not stop playing with these boys. Gets so upset if we suggest he needs to move away. He has other friends. He won't talk about anything, we are at a loss. If this sounds like he's a pushover, usually he isn't. This kind of behaviour is common in friendship bullying.

We feel moving school is a last resort. We choose this school as we love the ethos, facilities and focus on sport and art. I want to protect my child but feel angry that we should have to move because of these as. Also what happens if he encounters this behaviour again? We keep moving?

I feel a real option as well as continuing to push the school, is to get my son to move away from these boys. Any advice on how I can get through to my son that these boys are not his friends? (we have read boys about good friends, what makes a good friend etc).

OP posts:
Undecided1985 · 11/02/2022 12:00

Gosh this is such a hard one just keep encouraging other friends to playdates often bullies do seem to be friends especially when their is a group of 3 eg one child wants exclusivity of their friend or one child is the dominant one.

It is v v hard. Often not helped by schools refusing to mix children up in class etc

outside of school activities perhaps ones where the old friends do not go but where some of those you would like to encourage friendships with go.

As an aside my oldest never had the best friend in early primary and i was a bit upset for him he just moved between different friendship groups without ever being the best friend or the core of the group but in hindsight i can see lots of the "best friend" grouping where rather toxic eg bully domineering kid with weaker hangers on or mums forcing kids to be best friends or kids falling out constantly or richer kids showing off . so in a way i kind of prefer that he was never the best friend

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