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Fed up with class bully!

12 replies

cookiemonster5 · 19/05/2021 13:52

My middle son started a new school in 2019. Since then he has been targeted numerous times by one of the class bully's.

So far he has had 2 split lips, a black eye and as of yesterday 2 bruised legs from various punches, shoves and items being thrown at him.

Mostly these incidents happen on the way home from school (3 minute walk and P7 so he is 12 and has walked home no bother for a few years now). I have contacted the school who won't do anything because it's after school so they said to contact the police. The police were useless and said it's the schools responsibility. I spoke to an education officer and she was aware of the child already as she had been contacted over the years by other parents who have had children attacked by this boy. Still nothing gets done about him.

I asked the school to keep the child back to allow my son to get out and home safely but the boys mum refused. My son ended up having to walk out the other side of school and take the long way home accompanied by one of the PSAs who is the mum of another boy in his class who has also been a victim of this bully (at the time it was my youngest child's nap time hence me not picking him up plus I wanted to promote independence).

Mum and dad are convinced their son is the victim. It's always all the other children who are at fault and won't cooperate with the school on punishment. I had to block mum on social media after I approached her to talk about the issues and I got a load of abuse back along with a pile of lies such as my child has repeatedly reprimanded by the head over things he has said and done to her son. Dad messaged me yesterday after yet again their son attacked mine but this time my son fought back. The boy was pushing and shoving him, then called him some unsavoury names so my son punched him to get away. In the process of getting away he threw his water bottle at my son which landed on his leg and has left a bottle shaped bruise on him. But the dad wanted to talk about my sons "outburst".

My son didn't have an outburst!! He fought back after us telling him to when walking away and ignoring didn't stop it and parents, the school and the police washed their hands of the situation. Again the school don't want to do anything at all and the child has made a threat that something will happen should we get the police involved again.

The school wanted to get the boys together and see what the issue is. There is no issue from our side. The boys don't socialise together and have different friendship circles. I said that would be a waste of time as my son already stays away and ignores the child, the class teacher is aware and isolates the child away from whoever the focus of his anger is each particular week and there is never anything that triggers this.

Again my son has to change his routine and route home to keep himself safe while there is no action taken against the bully. He gets off Scott free yet again and his parents keep on with the idea that their child is a victim and carry on as normal.

I am so angry and fed up. It's only a few weeks before school ends and the boys will be in different classes at secondary school. I just want my son to finish his primary education in peace with his friends and not get attacked all the time.

Sorry it's long. No idea what I want to gain from this post except to vent to others about it. Their youngest child is in nursery with mine too and today I found myself taking the car and sitting there until the parents were leaving the school grounds by another exit just incase the "bodybuilder" parents decided to try to approach me or say something.

OP posts:
OhRene · 19/05/2021 13:59

My DD is in P7 and a classmate was getting bullied and harassed by three boys for god knows how long. School, as usual, did fuck all. (Small village and the only thing that counts is who you know and if your face fits) so she just said fuck it and called the police. Now I'm not saying the parents stopped their children bullying the boy because the police were involved. No, they claimed it was all bullshit as your boy's bully parents will. it simply forced the school to do something to save face.

OhRene · 19/05/2021 14:04

Sorry, she is the bullied boy's mum. She called the police.

Melitza · 19/05/2021 14:08

Try calling the police on the father.
He's harassing you with abuse.

cookiemonster5 · 19/05/2021 14:08

The police were meant to go in and speak to the school. They also said they were contacting social services because in their view this child was being failed on all front. But nothing happened. The police never followed up and the school are not aware of any social services involvement.

He has additional needs. I don't think he is a bad kid at all. He just doesn't know how to approach situations and people and form friendships or get attention.

I feel quite sorry for the boy really but someone somewhere should be able to do something!

OP posts:
missymisses · 19/05/2021 14:20

Escalate to the world and his dog; send a summary email and copy in the school, police commissioner, local mp. I've done similar in the past when I've had zero joy with the council / police. Its always the case that the one says it's the others fault. Making sure everyone knows that no one is taking the situation seriously is the only thing that gets anyone to take notice. It's almost like the fact that it's in writing makes people take action as now they have documented evidence that they did nothing, if things get worse. Make sure you use personal emails, not generic department emails. It makes people more accountable.

mrssunshinexxx · 19/05/2021 14:35

@cookiemonster5 this is so so sad OP sorry your son is going through this. Are you with your sons dad ? I'm sure people will disagree but if this was my son I would be sending my husband for a word with these shit bags. Could you meet him and walk home with him? Such a shame makes me so worried for my children to grow up and have this crap to deal with children should be innocent and have nothing to worry about

cookiemonster5 · 19/05/2021 14:54

@mrssunshinexxx my sons bio father hasn't seen him since he was 6 weeks old. My husband however is his dad and was ready to go round there all guns blazing yesterday but I didn't want to inflame the situation and potentially end up with my husband arrested!

I have just had an email from the school saying the boys have agreed to walk home different routes so as not to come into contact with each other so there are no consequences for the boy yet again. Angry

OP posts:
1940s · 19/05/2021 15:04

Absolutely will get flames for this. But I'd take the matter into my own hands and me and DH would go to their home all guns blazing. I'd have to advocate for my child and would not stand by watching them get bullied which can have catastrophic issues on self esteem long term. I'd have gone via the school and police route first as you've done, but having hit a brick wall I'd have lost my temper by now

DancesWithTortoises · 19/05/2021 15:10

If it happens again call the police and don't take no for an answer. They have an obligation to respond but they are too damn lazy. Happens all the time. It's their job, time they did what they are paid for.

Namechangedforthistoday · 19/05/2021 15:18

So sorry this is happening op. Could ds get a generic form of a go pro which dc could wear for the walk home from school? Knowing everything would be caught on camera might be enough to keep the bully out of ds’s path.

Noshowlomo · 19/05/2021 16:27

I am sorry that this little prick is getting away with bullying. My son is only 2 but I already dread stuff like this happening.
Tempting to go round and beat the shit out of all them but I think the best thing is to go with the above and tell EVERYONE.
Can your son film anything if it happens again to prove that it's the little shit.
He sounds like hes learning it from his parents..

HappyMeal654 · 19/05/2021 16:48

It does sound awful but I'd put napping child in a pram and go get him, there are plenty of other ways to promote independence, it sounds like he needs you for this on. Must be a horrible situation to be in, you have my sympathy, I'd hate to know someone was doing that to my kids

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