Is this bullying?

[Bill11]

Dear All,
Caution...long post!
DS is in year 9 and since he went back to school this year, has been telling me some of the students in his mentor group are commenting on his religion which are not directed to him but only in his presence. They wrongly accuse him of saying derogatory remarks about race & sexuality. There has never been any behavioural issue regarding him in school so I know he has not said these things.
The mentor teacher tells those students to stop when she sees this but unfortunately this continues during his lessons & breaktime.
DS likes to believe the whole world around him is just like him...friendly and accepting of whatever any body chooses to be. Unfortunately he is learning its not always the case. He is very able academically and teachers like him a lot so that could one of the reasons he is subjected to this behaviour.
He ignores most of it and when he does share, I ask him if he wants me to speak to his mentor and he says its bad but not too bad. I do believe in our kids growing a bit thick skin and try to ignore people like them. But the final straw was that he told me, yesterday that very group of students ran a "poll" in mentor who wanted DS to die and some clapped for it. The same teacher again said dont do it but thats how far it went.
Now will we accept these kind of comments if it was on any social media platform? Obviously not but how can it be just brushed under gentle telling off?

One more thing DS had some friends issue last year which were resolved but I fear if he will be labelled as over sensitive if I discuss this matter with the school.
I do understand that they might be saying all that as he gets upset and they get their desired response but surely someone needs to tell these students to respect people whoever they are or where will they stand in any real life situation?
Now what would you do? Am I right to think these comments come under all sorts of red flags?
Keeping in mind DS is a teenager, how do I step in so he wont feel I am taking over but before it turns into bad?
Thanks for reading that far! 😊

[FortunesFave]

I would make an appointment and ask the teacher why this has not been dealt with appropriately. It should have been shut down right away! Commenting on his religion is NOT acceptable and it is bullying/

[Bill11]

@FortunesFave

I would make an appointment and ask the teacher why this has not been dealt with appropriately. It should have been shut down right away! Commenting on his religion is NOT acceptable and it is bullying/

Thank you, yes have e-mailed the teacher to arrange a meeting after easter hols.

[custardbear]

Copy in head teacher too - disgusting behaviours from student and teacher for lack of dealing with this

[Fastforwardtospring]

Yes it’s bullying, DD went through it last term, on a regular basis she was told by a mixed group of kids that if they looked like her they would kill their selves, there was one particular gang leader who started texting her KYS, a quick Google and this is the acronym for ‘kill yourself’ this led to my DD researching ways to make this possible. They would shout it out to her whenever possible, her self esteem hit rock bottom, she refused to go to school, which turned out for the best as the school needed to know why, we reported it, we had texts as evidence, things couldn’t get much worse for her and I already had her name down at another school. Anyway cut a long story short, school have been brilliant, she’s had a much better term, is making different friends etc. Unfortunately it appears to be now that kids say ‘kill yourself’ as a matter of course, whether they are joking or not, this can have a serious effect on mental health and I urge you to nip your sons situation in the bud. My DD has decided to stay at the school, moving to next school across town doesn’t always work due to social media, the bullying can follow, so unless you are moving out of the area it’s not always the best option these days.

[Fastforwardtospring]

Oh and if you do decide to report, please put it in writing, the school have to act upon it then and even more so if your son refuses school, this only has to be for a couple of days, you tell the school why and they have to act upon it.

[Bill11]

@Fastforwardtospring

Yes it’s bullying, DD went through it last term, on a regular basis she was told by a mixed group of kids that if they looked like her they would kill their selves, there was one particular gang leader who started texting her KYS, a quick Google and this is the acronym for ‘kill yourself’ this led to my DD researching ways to make this possible. They would shout it out to her whenever possible, her self esteem hit rock bottom, she refused to go to school, which turned out for the best as the school needed to know why, we reported it, we had texts as evidence, things couldn’t get much worse for her and I already had her name down at another school. Anyway cut a long story short, school have been brilliant, she’s had a much better term, is making different friends etc. Unfortunately it appears to be now that kids say ‘kill yourself’ as a matter of course, whether they are joking or not, this can have a serious effect on mental health and I urge you to nip your sons situation in the bud. My DD has decided to stay at the school, moving to next school across town doesn’t always work due to social media, the bullying can follow, so unless you are moving out of the area it’s not always the best option these days.

Aww bless her! My heart is in pieces just by reading it! Can imagine how hard it must have been for your DD and family! 😢 But well done for dealing with it and making it work for your DD.
Thank you for your help, yes I am currently writing a draft copy so can document it all. Its sad our kids are subjected to this kind of behaviour but this has to get worse first before it gets better as the school will need evidence and your child has to go through the trauma to gain it!
DS has been through so many emotions like many others during the lockdowns and then this started but we are on it!
Thanks again

[Bill11]

@custardbear

Copy in head teacher too - disgusting behaviours from student and teacher for lack of dealing with this

Thank you. Will do

[caringcarer]

It is definitely bullying. Your son should not have to deal with this unacceptable behaviour from peers or mentor not shutting it down and yelling students it is bullying.

[Fastforwardtospring]

@Bill11 Really hope things work out for your DS, I hate to think of any child going through what my DD went through, even though she appears to have come through unscathed I am still very raw about it and I will always be on the look out for anything amiss in her behaviour pattern. No child should be scared to go to school, best of luck to you both

[Bill11]

Thank you for your kind words. I agree no child should face anything like that. X

[Bill11]

@caringcarer

It is definitely bullying. Your son should not have to deal with this unacceptable behaviour from peers or mentor not shutting it down and yelling students it is bullying.

I agree, whats the point of this mentor system when they fail to nip things like these in the bud.

[Diamondella]

Yes it’s bullying and totally unacceptable behaviour. I wouldn’t let this go I would email the schoolz

[Bill11]

@Diamondella

Yes it’s bullying and totally unacceptable behaviour. I wouldn’t let this go I would email the schoolz

Thanks 👍

[HotPenguin]

It's bullying and potentially it's also racism as it seems to be based on your son's religion/culture.