5 year old in Reception class

[Maxine3477]

Ok, so my olive-skinned son and I (I'm white) live in a very white, middle-class village with hardly any racial diversity.
He's not particularly dark complexion wise, he just has a pale olive kind of complexion. Looks a bit "Mediterreanean" and has a foreign surname.
He started started in September and has been very settled and has nice friends etc but one day last week he got upset (crying and sobbing) at bedtime, asking "Mummy, why did I have to be brown?" "I want to be white like you" :( It was so upsetting to hear from talking like this.
He said 2 boys in his class (he he'd previously been friends with and spoke fondly of) told him that they can't be friends with him anymore because they don't like "brown people". He said the comment came as they were getting changed after PE.
My son said he was too scared to alert the teacher as he thought HE'D get in trouble for "telling tales", even though I assured him the teacher would WANT to know.
I emailed the Deputy Head that night, explaining what my son had told me and, when I dropped my son at school the following morning, the Deputy Head was actually there, waiting for me. Said he'd been really concerned to hear what happened, he actually seemed genuinely upset by it, and gave me his assurances that it will be monitored and nipped in the bud.
Since then, my son has been a bit reluctant going to school (he doesn't know I've mentioned it to the staff), but it's just so upsetting to imagine 5 year old Reception kids having to experience racism so early on in life :(

Sounds like the school are on it which is excellent.
Dont (yet) judge the kids parents either - You might find they are totally unaware.
They are at an age where they are noticing any physical or other differences and this is them picking up on it and then a bit of twosome peer culture going on. Especially if you live in white Middle class suburbia and no one has already had a chat with them about any differences.
We live somewhere similar but my daughter goes to nursery in a slightly more diverse area and has just started mentioning skin colour. Shes only 3.5 but we've had a few conversations about how people are different and how people are the same.
And the usual about what behaviours will not be tolerated by anyone and she should never accept.
Hopefully it will all blow over.
Lots of cuddles and a few nice books with cultural diversity in - recommend Shirley Hughes for littlies (illustrations are gorgeous) and i think Konnie Huq has done a few older books too.

Bless him my heart goes out to him.

Whilst the class definitely needs a lesson around differences and what is not acceptable etc I think for that young age it MIGHT have just been like "we don't like people with blue eyes" or "we don't like people with Velcro shoes". Maybe not though, racism at that age can only ever come from what they've heard so they need speaking to regardless of how the comment came about. Unfortunately, the only way to help your son is to build his resilience to it and also teach him some responses. Just on the same way my brother was taught resilience over his sticky out ears. I mean, it shouldn't even be necessary but it's a sad and disappointing fact that there is still racism and unconscious bias in our society today.

My son first experienced racism from a grown woman when he was 3!
It's so heartbreaking on a another level when it happens to your child.
My daughter is darker skinned than the rest of the family (ranging from white to light olive and my daughter is dark skinned)..she always says why can't I be light like you I always assure her she's beautiful and show her role models (she loves gymnastics and singing) who are darker skin toned like her.
You have to make sure they are proud of however they are and I think that's a continuous thing that needs to be drilled into them.

I know you can’t get in there atm, but next time you are in the school run your eye over their resources. Especially library books! If they are what I imagine they are then give the school a link to Letterbox Library and suggest they think about ensuring their resources are more multicultural. Just because their intake is white it doesn’t mean their resources have to be as well. In fact all the more reason for resources to be representative of the general population.