Friend says I was bullied at school - I don't think I was. Not sure what to think!

[CharitySchmarity]

Not sure what I am asking really - just wanted to get this off my chest.

I recently met an old school friend from over 30 years ago. We weren't very close friends back then but we got on quite well. During the conversation, my friend referred to me having been bullied. I said I didn't remember that and she seemed surprised, so I asked what sort of things she remembered. My friend referred to people "calling me names" - when asked to be specific, the one she could remember wasn't anything horrible in my opinion, but a very common nickname for someone with one of my characteristics. If I'd been aware of people calling me it I would have encouraged it, as I always wished I had a nickname.

I have found it really unsettling, though, to find that someone perceives me as having been persistently bullied. I was very happy at school. I've always been quite a solitary person by nature, and didn't belong to any one big friendship group, but there were several people I got on well with individually. I can remember a few isolated incidents of people being rude about my clothes (I will happily admit that I had rubbish dress sense then) but it wasn't always the same person and I wouldn't class it as bullying, as it never really upset me because I was happy with myself as I was.

I am as certain as I can be that this friend wasn't being malicious by mentioning it. She was, and as far as I can tell still is, a shy, kind-hearted person. If she is so convinced I was being bullied, I'm sure she's not intentionally making it up, and I'm wondering if what she is really remembering is something that was being said behind my back, that I was never aware of at the time. In some ways it doesn't really matter, as I have gone on to have a mostly happy life. I just feel silly if there was something happening and I was the only one who didn't realise. It's like I'm not exactly the same person I thought I was.

If this was you, would you want to explore it further or just forget about it?

Could it be that the only reason she remembers these relatively minor things about you is because she herself was being bullied, and so was hypersensitive to it?

Thanks - that's a real possibility. She was also a quiet person who didn't belong to a big group, and I wouldn't necessarily have been the first person she'd turn to back then.

Oh no just forget about it!
Lots of things in life are about how you interpret them and you sound successful in that area .
My DS was 'bullied' a bit in primary school and a bit in secondary. I read up a lot on resilience in the first instance. We named the behaviour as unacceptable and never called it bullying and NEVER treated him like a victim. People are not just good or bad and they are often both, just at different times and different places.
He doesn't even remember the first and the second time he doesn't view as bullying at all (even though I do although I don't say that to him).
He gets on fine with the other boys in both instances now.
Don't dig up the past - you only have something negative to gain and it will be based on someone else's viewpoint and possibly wrong memory!
Stick with the positive.

It sounds like projection. You come across as confident and secure, whereas she sounds less so. It could be that she’s over analysed your school days and misremembered your time, due to her own experience. Memory is very subjective.
Don’t let this shake your confidence.