my son is 8, his father left when he was 4 months old.
For a long time he has not wanted to go to his dads on the days he's supposed to see him but I always talk him round because I think its important to maintain their relationship. He sees him twice a week from 4pm over night and comes home about 6.30am the next day. I can only go on what my son tells me but it seems that when he gets there he's just plays in his bedroom as his father doesn't interact that much with him. I've had phone calls from my son at gone 9pm saying that they are at the pub and he wants to go home but his dad says no which upsets me but I feel like I can't do anything about it. Tonight he has text me saying dad has called me fat don't tell him I told you. He is by no means fat, infact hes wearing an age below in trousers because his age are too big for him. This upsets me so much to think that he is somewhere he doesn't want to be and having someone thats supposed to care for him say such cruel things (and these are only the things he tells me about). I feel like I'm being a cowardly terrible parent by not standing up to his father and taking him out of that situation but the backlash that I would face and aggression scares me. I get the impression that he sees his son not because he wants to but society tells him he should do and as he already has a daughter he doesn't see he, I think he's more concerned about the way it would reflect on him.
I know what I should do. I should speak to his father about it and address my concerns, maybe even remove my son from the situation but I'm to scared of the ramifications of talking to his dad and the potential abusive messages and argument ill get back (I don't want this at the moment as I'm 4 months pregnant but I'd be the same even if I wasnt). I know this is cowardly and selfish and I should be putting my son before myself but I'm too scared to say anything, I don't know what else I can do does anyone have any advice