Alone

[Shopkinsdoll]

Hi all, I know this looks trivial but my daughter is so upset. She’s 7 and in primary 3 in Scotland. She’s been very best friends with a little girl for about a year and a half. They have done everything together. Now there has been two other little girls lurking about, I think they play with my daughters friend in her neighbourhood after school. Now the past few weeks, my daughters best friend has practically dumped my daughter and went away with these two girls. The other wee girls grab her and say play with us. My daughter is left alone. My daughter seems to think it’s the other little girls fault but her friend is as much to blame, she’s sees no wrong in her friend. They don’t even try to include her. Do I speak to her best friends mum and say my daughter has been feeling a bit left out recently? My daughter doesn’t want to say anything. I feel gutted for her.

I'd mention it to the teacher. When my DD was at primary, this happened fair,y frequently. The teacher encouraged team playing at break times, friendship bench, had occasional generic chats in the classroom about being kind to others and look out for anyone feeling sad etc.

Maybe encourage your DD to build other friendships?

Primary teachers are absolute stars for all that they do. They teach social and emotional skills as much as maths, history etc.

Thanks. Iv always tried the to tell her to have more than one friend, for this reason. Whenever she tried to make another new friend, her “best friend” would tell her things like, don’t talk to her, I thought I was your best friend. Now her friend has dumped her. They haven’t even included her in anything now. She’s left standing there herself., I’m really not happy at all. She dosnt want me to talk to her mum as she’ll speak to her daughter. Kids!!

Little children, in particular, I have seen little girls do this. What little beasties they are and it is hard to see your little one sad.

Confidentially, I would speak to the teacher and explain the situation. I should not talk to the other mums ... what can they practically do.

Do you have friends round for tea, I found this quite a good way, to build a wider group and activities during holidays. Your daughter may have to "nab" the next new child.

I understand how upsetting this can be OP. Your heart just breaks for your child doesn't it.

My dd is 15 and over the years we've been through updates and downs like this. While us horrible for your child and it's not kind, it's incredibly common. Don't forget they're all just children who are still learning social skills.
The things that helped my dd was encouraging hobbies and different friends. As she got older her friendship group widened and things got easier.

At 15 only last week dd was having issues with a friend that had suddenly started 'blanking' her. The difference is that these days she talks to her other friends, and actually by the end of the week had spoken directly herself to her blanking friend and they talked and sorted it all out together (I never get involved in anything!).

It's hard but my motto is always "this too shall pass". Encourage other friendships, talk to the teachers about widening her social group, look at clubs and new hobbies. All will be fine in the end I promise.