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Bullying

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My 6yo being accused of bullying. Help please...

5 replies

MumandPopo · 03/10/2019 12:33

This is my 1st ever forum post so please excuse the rambling!

My Son is 6 years old and is in P2. He made some firm friends in nursery and when he went into P1 everything was fine. A couple of weeks ago he came home with a letter in his bag saying that he had pushed another child causing a mark on said child's back. He had to write some 'line's about being nice. I found out who the other child was and promptly apologized to Mum myself and asked my Son to apologize again to the child and the Mum. Since then his behaviour at home has changed, he has been very despondant, wanting to talk about his feelings more (which is great, I welcome that), and in the mornings as soon as he opens his eyes he says please Mum can I stay home, I'm being separated at school from some of the other kids, they're calling me names and a bully and it's making me sad. This is not his normal behaviour. Now,this other child is being taken home for his lunch, I asked the other Mum if everything was OK and she said that she was doing it because of my child. When also voiced that she had other concerns regarding her Son, his behaviour at home has changed etc and she is absolutely blaming my child for this. They were great pals before. Now the other kid says 'my Mum says I have to stay away from you, I can't talk to or play with you anymore and I am not allowed to be around you in the playground'. She also said to me this morning that he is preventing her child from developing a relationship with another child in the class and that he doesn't let him engage in play in he is involved. Apart from the incident with the letter being sent home I have not had one call, letter of email from the school about these alleged happenings. Normally I wouldn't get too bent out of shape with kids calling each other a stupid head of whatever it is they are saying in the playground but this is affecting my son's Mood at home and he feels as though now he is being ostracized from his other friends because this boy is being quite vocal about how bad my kid is. It's breaking my heart. I talk to him, we read books about being kind to others and watch videos about how to be nice to each other and recognize other people's feelings. He knows that it isn't right to say things that may upset others because it isn't nice. I don't know what else I can do. I've been on the internet all morning learning new tools that I can use in teaching my Son about being nice to others but I feel as though a fair bit of this is just this other woman making my Son out to be some sort of Monster, which he isnt. Some of the things she is saying I know implicitly wasn't down to my child and I know this because he never deviates from what he tells me when I am asking. If he is wrong, it might take a minute but he was fess up! It just makes me so so sad that he feels this way. It really is affecting him because he never usually has lengthy conversations with me about what is going on for him.

OP posts:
Bobbybobbins · 03/10/2019 12:36

I would definitely arrange a meeting with the teacher ASAP to talk this through. You can't do much to affect the other mum's view atm so I wouldn't discuss with her again at this stage.

Raphael34 · 03/10/2019 12:38

Is this all really over the one incident? Do you think you son may have done/said other things, perhaps too petty to mention on their own, but perhaps enough to really upset this boy enough to want to avoid him? I’d talk to the school and see what they have to say about it. I find it hard to believe a parent going so out of their way everyday to do an extra pick up and drop off over an isolated incident. As for the school, I know in ours they’d only notify the parents if there’s a serious incident regarding bullying (as yours did), otherwise they’ll deal with it internally

Bucatini · 03/10/2019 12:39

Stop engaging with the other mum. Go straight into the school and ask for a meeting about this.

MumandPopo · 03/10/2019 21:58

I went into the school and left a message with the office for the head teacher. She called and said that she has no knowledge of any incidents and that the mother in question hasn't contacted the school either. His classroom teacher also hasn't any concerns but did voice to me this afternoon that whilst she was chatting to my kid about it, the other one, bless him, said 'don't worry, I'm still your friend I just have to do what Mum says'. This other child is NOT avoiding my Son, it's Mum who has instigated these things. The head teacher says that there isn't any need for a meeting about this and they will 'keep an eye on things ' in the mean time. I'm a first time Mum, learning every day and just trying my best to bring up a happy and polite child.

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MumandPopo · 03/10/2019 21:59

The other boy doesn't want to avoid my Son.

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