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Bullying

Find advice from others who have experienced school or workplace bullying on our Bulllying forum.

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Original poster

Anyone else had to move schools to a private school to avoid bullying?

12 replies

Lionmummy1 · 21/07/2019 13:23

My son who is 8 was bullied in year 3. The parents of the school were very cliquey I don't work in finance or run triathlons and a good percent do. I was always chatty, helpful polite and donated my free time and money to the school but there seemed to be no way to break the inner circle. The deputy head uses intimidation to get the kids to behave. Anyone else had similar happen?

OP posts:

Tableclothing · 21/07/2019 13:28

Private schools are not some bullying-free utopia.

I don't really get the connection between the parent clique and your son's experiences. The school should have had anti-bullying policy. Did they follow it?

Original poster

Lionmummy1 · 21/07/2019 13:38

Hi there sorry didn't explain well. Only had tiove to private school as place available. Yes they did use anti bullying at first but when the deputy head started blaming my little one for things he hadn't done I didn't report any more bullying as didn't want to speak to them

OP posts:

FossiPajuZeka · 21/07/2019 22:19

All schools have bullying occasionally and private schools have just as much chance as state schools of being terrible and managing it. I'm not anti private school at all but moving to a private school to avoid bullying is like claiming you have to move to a different city to avoid chestnut trees.

Original poster

Lionmummy1 · 22/07/2019 06:14

Ha yes you're right there! I've been trying to remove this thread now but can't. Wish I'd put this differently, main reason was just to find out if things had got so bad at a school and other nearest schools so full that you've felt only alternative was to go private. Bullying goes on at private schools too of course but they also have the power to remove a child if bad behaviour continues.

OP posts:

FossiPajuZeka · 22/07/2019 07:42

I hope you find the right school for your child, whatever the funding method for it. Unfortunately sometimes in a private school the bully comes from a family where the siblings also attend and a parent is an alumni donor and the school would rather pretend it's less of a problem. Whatever the school variety, I try to ask a pupil (away from the ears of adults) to tell me about what happened last time there was any bullying.

stucknoue · 22/07/2019 08:08

In my experience private schools can be worse. My suggestion is to speak to the governors, and look for the right school which could be state or private. I've experienced cliquey parents, not nice

Original poster

Lionmummy1 · 22/07/2019 09:01

Thanks for your message and advice. X

OP posts:

Fibbke · 22/07/2019 09:05

You will find a lot of finance and triathlons at private school

Original poster

Lionmummy1 · 22/07/2019 11:34

Hopefully they will be nicer! I don't mind what they do as long as an easy bunch of ppl, seems the others were an unbreakable set.

OP posts:

FlatheadScrewdriver · 22/07/2019 18:41

We're doing the same. No issue with parent cliques (in fact I will really miss a couple of people...) but we're moving schools due to bullying, and have chosen to move to a private school (as have quite a few from the same class, to escape the same violent bully). I researched and visited all our state options and couldn't find one that worked (there are health needs in DC so I had a couple of quite specific criteria). We also looked at three private options, and one felt right.

So we're giving it a shot. Nowhere is perfect, and the transition is bound to be rough. I don't really care about the other parents, as long as DC are happy and there's a good working relationship with the teachers (I don't mean I want loads of their time, just listening on both sides!). I also deliberately chose a school with more than 1 form per year, to enable a bit of wriggle room in case of any future bullying/clashes.

Good luck, hope your move goes well!

Original poster

Lionmummy1 · 22/07/2019 19:38

Ah thanks for your reply, fingers crossed for your family. Can't put a price on happiness. X

OP posts:

Smith888 · 12/09/2019 17:05

My child was first bullied at a private school. The parents were also very cliquey. The school was hopeless and refused to admit they messed up (which they did big time). Put my DS in state school and he was bullied and teased randomly for looking like he was "severely depressed". So much for kids being more aware and supporting mental health issues! The school was excellent at dealing with it but the damage was done. He's now back in a private day school and doing really well. The kids are just lively and polite and the whole environment is relaxes. He's really happy and almost back to the lovely, friendly boy he used to be. I think you just have to find the best fit.

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