Hi all,
My 4 year old started school in September last year. Il refer to her a f. Before all the new children started we met up at a local play centre. Here we met s and her mum. During the day s had been mean to a few of the other children including a child not in our group. The other child's mum spoke to s mum and s mum then came over to me and said "s is always doing this and I get spoken to by other mums" this was the first time we had met so I just smiled and carried on, not thinking much of it. Well I should have as it turns out s is a bully and her parents cannot admit it to themselves.
S has been bullying my daughter since September. Mostly it has been name calling, I have told my daughter to stay away from s and tell a teacher but s has started following her. Last night f was being quiet and seemed distant and thinking. I asked what was up and the story unfolds that s has been pushing her and following her round calling her names. Taking the mick out of her for wearing glasses and scratching the back of her arms leaving scabs. F has eczema on the back of her arms so this has caught s attention . I found f in bed with blood on her sheets recently and it all came out last night that s had made the scabs (I had noticed but thought f had been picking) and f was trying to get rid of them so s can't pinch her there again. I told f to move away and tell a teacher if s is pinching her arms but f is too scared to step out of the line/circle/carpet time. F is academically gifted and very keen to please and a bit different socially.
At first I thought it was a bit tit for tat between all the little girls. I spoke to the teacher about s before and she brushed it off as girls being girls.
I have phoned the teacher today to explain what I now know and to let her know that this is turning into something else. She was very dismissive. She said she would speak to both girls to find out what is going on but I got the impression that she still thinks this is just playground name calling.
I will add that at a party at the weekend s and her mum were there. Another mum mentioned how her son had been given glasses but won't wear them as a certain child in the class had been mean about them. S mum jumped straight in and said well it's not my s that's said that as she is used to glasses ! I found this really odd and a bit ott! I believe she knows it's s but can't admit her child has an issue. I know it's s and so does the other parents.
S mum and me get on well. She seems a nice person but she is allowing her child to be this way because she cannot admit her little angle is this way.
I don't want to cause issues at school and be that parent but on the other hand I cannot let this carry on. I feel so guilty that I have left my daughter in this for a year and I feel I have shown her that no one believes her and she has to put up with being called names and sometimes being hurt as a normal part of schooling need to show her I will protect her.
Shall I approach the mum as we get on, we may fall out but who cares.
Shall I take it further in school, maybe becoming 'that mum'
I don't know what to do if the teacher is not taking this seriously.
Thanks