School Bullying - When the bully is a different individual each time.

[HsD2975]

Most definitions of bullying define it as ‘Lots of times, on purpose’.

But what about vulnerable children? Some quieter children, through no fault of their own, seem to attract trouble causers, I suppose because they are classed as ‘fair game’ or are known not to put up a fight.

Some children may experience several incidents of bullying in a short space of time, but completely different children each time. So from a schools persepective this is not bullying.

I would be interested to know other people’s thoughts on this. Especially those with experience of working within a UK Secondary school.

I think it depends what kind of bullying it is.

If the child in question invites antagonism or can be challenging then they might aggravate a wider subset of peers than most - and thus invite unwelcome negative interactions such as this.

Is this something you are going through right now or is it a navel gazing exercise?

HsD2975

Quiet pupils don't attract bullies.

There are people, pupils and children that will target differences or just decide not to like someone for whatever reason.

The main problem with your question is that unless it is a group of pupils bullying another pupil and taking it in turns within the group then each incident would be tackled on its own.

So yes it is possible for multiple children to separately bully a single child at the same time.

Yes it is something I am going through at the moment.

My son has been, in my opinion, bullied on several occasions since Sept. Not all but many of the attack’s a physical, with no motivation. The school have, on most occasions, backed up my son that he has not done anything to motivate these incidents. And when challenged the children have admitted to the incidents.

My issue is that the school do not always accept that my son is being bullied. Their reasoning is that it is not the same group or individual and that bullying has to be ‘repeated’ offence.

My view is, if he isn’t being bullied, what do we define it as.

I have sought advice from CAB and a bullying.uk who have both been fantastic and in their open he is being bullied. I have been advised to quote ‘the incidents may not be organised by one individual but a systematic series of events with the same target’

I do have a meeting with the senior leadership team pending to discuss actions going forwards.

BoneyBackJefferson - Some quiet children do attract bullies. However I was using this as a general example.

Sorry no motive, not motivation.

HsD2975

I realise that its the semantics of the words, but these children are doing nothing to "attract" attention from bullies.

They are being targeted by the bullies, to say otherwise implies that these children are doing something wrong.

your child is being bullied and the school should be tackling each bully separately.

Thanks for replying.

The battle I have is the school say they do deal with each child/group. But I now I have a long list of incidents. So I get a call that child A hurt my child, sanction has been given. Few weeks later I get a call that child B hurt my child, sanction has been given. Few weeks later child C hurt my child, sanction has been given. Few weeks later child A hurt by child, a sanction has been given. Few weeks later child D has hurt my child, sanction has been given.

Can you see the helplessness I am in! So I am battling for them to admit they have a bullying issue. And get them to commit to putting a safety plan in place to protect my child.

I can see how helpless this would make you feel.

TBH though I am not sure that the school can do anything else. Anything that they put in place would either restrict your child, which isn't fair on him, or would restrict the other children and would probably been seen as being overly harsh on the other children as they have already been sanctioned.

It may well be that you have to push this and start making official complaints to the HoY, Head of house and head teacher. If you get no joy from them the governors and possibly the police.

Quiet pupils don't attract bullies.

this is complete nonsense. I was a quiet, head down child with my head constantly in a book. This was red rag to a bull to some kids and the fact that I wore glasses and had cheap clothes and equipment didn't help. I've heard loads of people say the same, that they were picked on for being quiet.

Move schools for September....next time it happens keep him off school untill they put some thing in place to keep him safe

HollyGibney

You did nothing to attract the bullies, that is the point. You kept to yourself. The bullies targeted you.

To say that you attracted them insinuates/implies that you actively did something to them that you have to take responsibility for.

You did nothing wrong, you are not responsible for their actions, what they did was entirely on them, not on you.

Ah got you. Sorry, I misunderstood entirely. Apologies

I have a meeting with the senior leadership team this week. I will be pushing for them to put actions in place to protect my child.

If A,B,C andD have only done something once and then have been punished/said sorry etc then I dont think they are bullies, but your child is being bullied, because he is is having something done to them several times on purpose. I can see why its difficult for the school to deal with it, I dont think they can do anything at the moment but if any of the children were to do anything again it will be bullying and the school will be able to take it more seriously, its either that or they have all learnt their lesson and will stop being mean to your child and it will all be over.