Help - son never wants to go into school.How do you deal with a bully at secondary school

[lotti37]

My son is inyear 8 at secondary school and has never really settled there . He is being bullied by a particular boy and the head of year knows. He is still making comments and trying to trip him up and giving him dirty looks. My son has been so unhappy mentioning knives in the past . He has just started counselling. He dreads going into school and every day is a battle to get him to go in . He only has a few people that he has lunch with and he is isn’t very confident . What would you recommend doing to help him . He needs to improve his confidence . Are there any clubs that helped your son improve in confidence and make friends ? Thank you

Keep reporting it to the school. Tell your son to report anything that makes him feel uncomfortable to his tutor or head of year or even go to the head. If he doesn't feel able to do this, you must do it for him. Ask for some adult at the school to make a point of talking to your son at specific times so he can let them know how he is felling and if the bully is continuing to harass him. The school might need to move one of the children to keep them apart. If your son is feeling very vulnerable and having counselling, check that the school SENCO knows - if not inform them and ask for their support in helping your son through this patch. Schools are supposed to be getting better at looking after people like your son. My school has a specific supervised area where socially vulnerable children like your son can go at breaks etc where they can play games, draw etc away from the hustle and bustle. That is often where they start to make friends and provide mutual support which can help them to gain confidence.

Look at ZAP for yourself and your son. It's a great course for the victims of bullying and their parents. I did it with my son. Schools can only do so much and while setting aside a supervised area for vulnerable children is very well meaning it often singles the victim out even more and makes them more of a target on the outside of the supervised area. Focus on your raising your child's confidence and equally on learning to let it roll off him/her or fog it out. Also, keep complaining to the school. It isn't acceptable and the bully needs to be dealt with.