Sons self harming

[ani74]

My son is almost 12. He is bullied daily in school to the point he's started self harming. I have taken him to the GP and he is now at CAMHS and is getting support there. School are not listening and are blaming me saying I let him chose to stay off school. I have had many meetings with school about the issue and I feel that they are not taking the issue seriously enough. My son has SEN and when I raise my concerns about his needs the school staff eye roll me. I have had talks with education welfare and have contacted a parent support group who can help at the school with his needs. It's hard to get him into school as he's scared. I'm showing him lots of love and reassurance and talking to him about how he's feeling. Does anyone have any ideas what else I can do? I am now thinking about changing his school but this takes him away from the friends he has there. I'm so worried about him. There's so much going on I'm struggling.

Sounds like your goin through alot... If it is at the point where he does not want to go to school even though he has friends there, then that is showing you it may be best to change schools, he could still see his friends out of school that contact wouldn't have too end. If your son is hurting himself he must be being bullied to the point where he emotionally cannot deal with it anymore and has turned to physical. It is hard as a mum too see your child hurting and clearly the school isnt doing much! I really would consider moving if nothing else can be done, if the bullying has made him self harm, and the bullying continues he may not believe self harm is enough to deal with it and can lead to other things which i hope it never would. My friends daughter tried taking her life from bullying and it really isn't something a child as young as your son should have to put up with jus because other parents cannot teach there kids kidness and love. Is it emotional bullying or physical?

We have a lot going on. It's a long story. Thank u for your advice and taking time to reply. It's more emotional with threats of physical. The pick on how he looks, call him fat, say to him what's wrong with his face, call him ugly, slow, stupid. He says they say he stinks and treat him like he's a disease. He feels like a failure. He has social difficulties and struggles with reading other people. I feel at this point a change of school is the only option. The school just refuse to listen. He's cut himself again today and has previously written suicide note. I'm under pressure to make him attend school and the school are saying some quite awful things about my parenting

Your parenting! How rude. As long as the school looks good then won't care, if he has written a letter i really advice you change schools, it isnt your parenting its other people! How people can be so horrible to a 12 year old ill never understand. Movin schools may really help and end it all, he will be so grateful to you and the self harm may stop. But i can see how hard it is for u, id be worried too. Maybe if ur son wasn't bullied he would attend but the fact they're more focused on his attendance says it all.

Apparently he's just manipulating me, and I have no boundaries and I'm allowing him to do what he wants. I'm not. I have repeatedly tried to get him into school and always talked with the school and attended and requested meetings. I tried to tell them how distressed he was and even after sending school the CAMHS report they still don't seem interested. It's all about ticking a box for them to say he's attended. He's now only going into school for an hour and a half a day while the bullies get full access to their education. My son ends up in the quiet room isolated. I'm so tired of it. I just want him to feel safe and get educated which is his right

Sorry for the late reply, i see what you mean. Schools now a days don't care about anything as long as their reputation looks good and all students have full attendance. By everything you have told me i think changing schools will really benefit your child and put a stop to his bullying, and result of that will hopefully stop self harm. You as a mother deep down know in your heart what you need to do, don't let any school jepodise that and make you feel guilty, for helping your son. Especially when no one else seems to.

Completely unacceptable. I'd be looking for a new school asap. You can inform the school that you are home schooling him until you find somewhere, that's what I'd be doing in your situation.

Thank you both for your replies. I am going to contact local authority to see what the options are. Things are not getting any better as they are. My son is the important one here and his needs come first

no one can stop you changing schools for your son, you have the right. I hope things go well for you both keep an update if possible id love to know if things get better. Good luck