Struggling to make friends

[Lymmmummy]

Thanks in advance for any advice or shared experience have posted in general primary education thread by got no response

Basically my DS yr2 has struggled to become part of a firm friendship group ever since a change of class away from his original nursery friends at the end of reception year

He is not so much a quiet overly sensitive soul it’s note that he just hasn’t clicked with any particular group of boys - in his class I would say there are approx 15 boys of which half are in a bit of a clique and don’t socialise with the other half and the remaining boys seem to have paired off with my DS on the outside of things

we do do playdatea and activities

I don’t think it’s the end of the world for him not to have a bestie as I have also seen that too close an exclusive friendships can also bring its own problems

But my DS is now becoming quiet upset about the whole thing especially as a new boy who recently joined the school and who DS thought was his bestie has now found another playmate

I just want my son to feel comfortable with the idea of not needing an exclusive friendship and am scared he may become socially isolated and lose his confidence

Any advice or experiences to share

Stop saying 'bestie'

Refer to all children as 'friends'

There's an awful lot of pressure for kids to be besties these days and it feels like they need one or are somehow missing something

They'll find true friendships when they are ready

I agree with Greentulips - this whole bff thing makes my blood boil, we should be encouraging our kids to make a good group of friends. But I do get where you're coming from - when we moved area and changed schools it took eldest dc1 (who was ks1 at the time) around 2 years to develop a group of friends but they got there in the end. Dc2 (who was reception age) has sadly never formed a group or even what I would term 'a good friend' and we are now looking at changing schools as the isolation is leading them to become frustrated and angry. I wish I could be more helpful - i think you'll know when the point comes where you'd rather risk the change than stick it out.

Watching this thread. My son is 9 and has moved schools for the second time last September, just because we relocated. He's having a hell of a job making friends. He's not into sport. He's also had a sinus problem which has caused him to make hoicking noises in the back of his throat and spit constantly. None of this has helped. He does - I believe - have tonnes going for him but it doesn't seem to be counting for anything at the moment. It's very painful hearing about it all. I definitely need to talk about this stuff. I note this thread is from 2017 but it's relevant. I would say to the OP that friendships do form and break up a lot in primary school and not to sweat that at all. It's great that he had a best friend even for a time - this is part of the evolution of the friend-making skill.

Lovely post above - it’s horrible watching a child go through this