Am I being too sensitive

[Jon2004]

Hi

My 8 year old daughter told me this morning that there is a 9 year old boy in her class who regularly hugs and kisses my second child, a 4 year old reception girl on the mouth. When my 8 year old said stop.. He says no, he'll do it if he wants. When I asked my 4 year old about it she just got embarrassed.

My 8 year old told a teaching assistant who laughed. I'm furious about it, it's one thing a reception boy kisses and cuddling her if they're little buddies, but I think this boy is too big and shouldn't be doing it. My wife thinks I'm over reacting... but I don't and I want to deal with it with the school. To me it's not ok. What do other parents think? Am I over reacting?

You are definitely not over reacting.
9 is old enough to know that is wrong.
I’d be going straight to the Head with this and voicing my concerns abiout the TA as well

I don’t think it’s a massive deal, i had ‘pet’ reception kids ( little friends I looked after and played ‘mummies and babies’ with essentially) at about that age. But it is a bit weird, and if your youngest embarrassed and your oldest unhappy with it then I would take it further and ask the teacher to intervene. It could be entirely innocent kid behaviour, or it could be stressful for youngest.

Especially concerning if youngest doesn’t like it as then that edges into consent to physical touching - eg, if ok for 9yo then who else is it okay with to youngest mind.

No it's not okay. If it is true and it is not a one off, then you are perfectly within your rights to ask this to be stopped by school staff.
Why a 9 year old boy wants to keep kissing a 4 year old girl on the lips? He should have better things to do with his own peers rather than targeting a 4 year old girl.
It isn't right. I would talk to the school and ask them to nip it in the bud and talk to my DDs about their bodies belonging to them and boundaries and this not being their fault. The boy might have problems understanding and respecting personal boundaries too in which case school could handle -educate.
9 is old enough to not force affection to others especially to younger people.

That's how I feel. I don't know the boy. He has no real relationship with my children. It's not as if they have grown up together. Also didn't like his attitude that he'd do it if he wants to, when asked to stop. I've asked my older child to tell me if it happens again. I'm trying to be calm, because my wife is and don't know if I'm just being the over protective dad. If it happens again, I don't see the need for it, and will be approaching the school regardless. Just hope I'm doing the right thing as I really want to deal with it now.

It's good advice to talk more about boundaries. I'm going to do that immediately. Thanks

Your 8 year old dd already sensed it being not natural and asked him to stop and now raising it with her parents.
Your younger dd felt embarrassed when you asked.
So they already have heightened sense about it and uneasy feelings. Do not ignore it.

I don’t think you are over reacting at all. I would be straight in the school to discuss this and ask what they were going to do.

The power imbalance of it is making me itch. Its not even other 9 year olds he is targeting.