Question re bullying at independent school

[purpleypink]

There is a bully in one of my DC's class whose behaviour has made the other students terrified of them. This behaviour became increasingly more violent at the end of last term and has started up again already with my DC being on the receiving end this week. It is shear luck that no child has been seriously injured as the result of falls sustained from the aggression.

This is an Independent school. I add this as I need to know if that makes a difference as to what the school can do about it. However, I am getting rather worried as despite constant uproar from the parents the DC is still there and continuing. If the other DC stand up to them, they often get punished as a result. This is a very frustrating situation. The school seems to be treating the bully as a victim, rather than someone whose behaviour needs to stop immediately due to the nature of it.

Before I make my complaint to the school I would like to understand what options are open to me to get the school to do something about this and what to do if I feel the situation is not being addressed. Leaving the school is not an option and the bullying has not reached that point yet. I want it stopped before it goes any further. I know children have issues with each other but for me physical violence is totally unacceptable.

Sorry to hear about this OP. It would be helpful to know the age and gender of the DCs. It might be useful for you to read the recent thread on here which asks whether bullies get expelled from private schools. It gives a variety of views and experiences. Best of luck.

Both DD's age 8.

You are free to raise safeguarding concerns to ofsted and the local authority just as with a state school. Google "how to complain about a private school." Sounds like they need to be forced into action here.

The school has lots of options open to it and in theory it is easier to expel than it would be at a state school.

From what you've said it sounds like the school is going down the 'support' route for the aggressive child- which actually in the bigger picture is a good thing- massively violent 8 year olds are not 'bad people' and they are not like that because they are happy they absolutely need support.

BUT obviously violence towards other children can't be tolerated and your DD has a right to feel safe at school. It is this angle I would pursue with the school- tell them that your daughter does not feel safe currently and ask them what they are doing to ensure that she is safe?

Emailed complaint to form teacher and then if no joy, complaint to Deputy Head Pastoral (or equivalent) and ask for a copy of their complaints policy at the same time. That should specify a timeframe for action. If still no joy, complaint to Head and if still no joy after that(!), a complaint to the Governors. That should be a last resort though.

Thank you.

Yes they seem to be going down the support route which is good for the bully, but not for the DC on the receiving end of the violence. And it is violence. It is not a quick push or a pinch on the arm it is full force off playground apparatus, pushed down steps and throwing things at peoples heads. It is only a matter of time before I fear an ambulance needs to be called.

You see this is what I don't get. Why is one bully's happiness more important than 30 other children's right to feel safe and not go to school with anxiety?

Schools have a duty of care to all children. They must be explaining why they view this differently from 'the parents who are in uproar'.
tbh saying you are in uproar sounds like some kind of mob justice mentality. That's not the way to get the school to engage.
If other DCs are being punished, the school obviously views the issue differently. You need to be factual and accurate about what has happened to your child. The school can't discuss the other children with you, and uniting together against one child will not be viewed favourably because it relies upon hearsay.
Your school should have a bullying policy and a complaints procedure. Ask for copies of both.

My DD was bullied at the prep school she first went to. I hate to say this, but my experience was that they'd do anything to deny it and not have to address the issue with the other parents, who were known troublemakers (as was the child involved).

My son was bullied first year of school, teacher did nothing about it! I put him in another school as it really affected his self esteem. it was just one kid bulling him and also trying to turn the other children against my child. If I recall the boys name was Damian :P I don't have any Faith in schools fixing these problems. It was a private school.