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Bullying

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Original poster

my 17yo boy is a bully and school is doing nothing about it?

20 replies

spookyyankeecandle · 07/06/2017 19:51

I have known for a while that my son has made fun of his classmates that he doesn't like. One of the bullied boys has spoken to me about it and I asked him to stop, and I thought he had until I saw him teasing and patronising a boy a few years young let than him as I was picking him up from school.

I just don't know what to do. I phoned the school for them to have a meeting with me about it, and possibly to punish him but they refused to see me, effectively saying that if he hasn't got caught doing it they don't want to do anything.

This makes me concerned. Should I take matters into my own hands and punish him? And I am also very concerned that it may be my fault. I have never really set boundaries with him and I don't think I have ever properly punished him. Advice?

OP posts:
Veterinari · 07/06/2017 19:55

He' said your son. You've witnessed him bullying others.

Be a parent!
ShockConfused

NellieFiveBellies · 07/06/2017 19:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sunnysouthend · 07/06/2017 20:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ineedamoreadultieradult · 07/06/2017 20:10

You need to talk to him at 17 years old he could quite easily end up with a visit from the police if he carries on like this!

Kelsoooo · 07/06/2017 20:12

Why are you abdicating responsibility? He's your son. Discipline him and make it clear how vile and cruel he is

CleopatraTheCatLover · 07/06/2017 20:12

Well if you've never set boundaries you need to start!

Believeitornot · 07/06/2017 20:14

Why are you asking if you should punish him?

My ds is 7. He told me that he and friends were calling another boy names. I explained that this was unacceptable and how the other boy would be feeling. He was ashamed and quite right too.

I can't believe you even need to ask.

ScarletForYa · 07/06/2017 20:15

I am also very concerned that it may be my fault. I have never really set boundaries with him and I don't think I have ever properly punished him.

You're right, it is your fault.

Why haven't you parented him?

PerspicaciaTick · 07/06/2017 20:15

It's never to late to set boundaries. Tell him that you have seen him being a bully. That because you have already spoken to him about it and he knows it is not OK to behave this way you will be sanctioning him - pick something that will genuinely hurt him by hitting his pocket/ telephone/ socialising. Then take time to sit down and draw up some house rules for him.

blueskyinmarch · 07/06/2017 20:15

You are the parent but it sounds like you are 17 years too late for boundary setting. You have made his beast, you need to deal with it. It is not the schools role to do this. Step up and parent for goodness sake.

AfunaMbatata · 07/06/2017 20:17

Sort him out before he picks on the wrong kid and gets beaten to a pulp (which he would deserve btw).

pilates · 16/06/2017 18:13

If this is real, too little too late I'm afraid.

He is nearly an adult, how do you propose to punish him?

GreenTulips · 17/06/2017 23:31

No wonder there's so many bullies about - why do you need the school or our permission to punish him?

Does he have friends?

Terfing · 17/06/2017 23:38

My word, as if teacher's don't have enough to deal with, you're expecting them to parent your son!

If he is bullying, why haven't they expelled him yet? It's the least he deserves! Angry

crazycatgal · 17/06/2017 23:43

Obviously you should punish him.

sooperdooper · 17/06/2017 23:54

Ffs is this even real Confused

He's your son, of course it's your responsibility to punish him, if you'd given him boundaries in the first place rather than expecting the school to do it he wouldn't be a bully

How on earth can you ask whether you should punish him? Do you seriously think anyone will say no, don't bother Angry

LovingLola · 17/06/2017 23:58

I think you need to change the title of the thread to reflect the fact that your 17 year old is a bully and you are doing nothing about it.

If you are not a troll that is.

Beautifulworld1 · 23/06/2017 09:03

This is a big issue now. You say you never set boundaries and he's now a young man of 17!

Try talking to him but I doubt he has respect for you now.
Not sure which area you are in. I'm in Surrey. I would be happy to talk with him if he will hear me. I'm 56 and was bullied from my first day at school, right through. My whole life has been affected by the traumas I experienced.
My son was also bullied and is now grown up and a body builder of 6ft 4" - a good looking, strong, but a scary guy. I'd bring him too!! Wouldn't hurt for your son to have someone bigger, stronger and more scary than him to scare him a little bit, in a controlled, way.

I know some will criticise my offer but I have tried every other way- nothing works and the victim ends up with the short straw every time, having to leave schools and leave one or two friends they managed to make... it's painful.
Let me know.

SparklyMagpie · 23/06/2017 09:09

I can't believe what you've written OP

Fruitcocktail6 · 23/06/2017 09:16

Shock I can't believe this. No wonder he's a bully.

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