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Bullying

Find advice from others who have experienced school or workplace bullying on our Bulllying forum.

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Original poster

School Bully Broke My Child's Wrist :(

85 replies

dilydaly · 20/05/2017 13:36

Can anyone please offer advice on where I stand with this. I live in Swansea, South Wales (as I know rules can vary with area).
There's a boy in my child's class who is constantly in trouble / causing trouble with all the kids. There have been numerous incidents over the years (they are currently in year 4, age 8/9). For example, fighting with other kids, throwing chairs across the class, throwing kids lunch boxes, breaking things, defecting on the changing room floor on more than one occasion. There was an ongoing situation with another child which resulted in the other child changing schools. It's this incident with the other child that makes me worry that the school won't take this as seriously as they should.
I can't say that he's bullied my child as this would imply that there has been an ongoing issue between him and my child which isn't true, there was one incident 2 months back where he kicked her (nothing overly serious, no mark left) but on Thursday he couldn't get his own way in the school yard and was told by their class teacher he couldn't do what he wanted to do (which was to continue to annoy my daughter and her 2 friends) so he (in front of the teacher) lost his temper and shoved my daughter to the ground, with such force it broke a bone. Aside from the broken bone in her wrist, she was left with 2 large grazes down the side of her face, small grazes to her knee and a tiny graze to her wrist.
I phoned my local PCSO for some advice about taking this to the police, she consulted with her sergeant then phoned me back to say this could indeed be reported and recorded as an assault. I went straight up the school and spoke to the deputy head (head mistress wasn't there) and told her what had happened (she noted everything I said down) and I told her that something must be done to stop him. Missing a play time simply won't cut it. She told me that something will be done but they can't tell me what will be done to the bully. She also asked me to hold off reporting it to the police until Monday when I'll have a meeting with the headmistress to discuss the next step.
I suppose what I want to know is does this warrant a suspension ? The deputy head as good as told me he won't be expelled. Also, what affect will reporting this to the police have on the school ? I mean it won't be ideal to have it recorded that an assault has taken place on their premises. I just want to go to this meeting armed with as much info as possible to try and get the right outcome, because so far this child seems untouchable.

Any help and advice will be greatly appreciated,
Thanks

OP posts:

Goingtobeawesome · 20/05/2017 13:39

Do not hold off reporting this. Another bloody school staff member who thinks they can dictate what a parent does with their child.

My son was bullied and then when he was assaulted by the same kid and nothing was going to be done until another teacher over ruled the head, we reported him to the police. He was bollocked. Social services involved. We removed our son from alcohol until it was sorted. He never went back. Said bully is now at another school, being bullied.

hahahaIdontgetit · 20/05/2017 13:44

Report to the police, how dare the head try to stop you reporting an assault on your child

DoorwayToNorway · 20/05/2017 13:46

We removed our son from alcohol worst typo ever!

I would report to both the police and social services. This kid needs urgent help

Goingtobeawesome · 20/05/2017 13:47

Removed from school obviously

greenwool · 20/05/2017 13:48

That teacher benefits from protections that ensure that, were she to be assaulted by a work colleague, appropriate action would be taken. How dare she try to deny that to a child in her care? Your poor dd. I'm glad she's got you to stand by her.

ASauvingnonADay · 20/05/2017 13:49

You could report to police, although unsure of what you'd hope to happen. They won't want to criminalise a child. I'm in secondary (and the police wouldn't get involved generally unless they felt we hadn't taken action) so don't know if anyone has had different experiences.

It think it warrants an exclusion, but we don't know the wider context or anything about the other child. We don't know what support is already in place, what other agencies are supporting, whether there is a risk assessment etc., and the school won't be able to share this info with you.

Knittedfrog · 20/05/2017 13:54

I would not hold back from reporting on the say so of the deputy head.
Sounds like she trying to cover it up.
If it was me I would report so the head knows you're not taking it lightly when you meet on Monday.

SaorAlbaGuBrath · 20/05/2017 13:58

They always ask you to hold off, it's so they can cover their own arses. Fuck that, you owe them nothing. Call the police. I'm sorry this happened to your DD, I hope she's ok soon .

ThouShallNotPass · 20/05/2017 13:58

Do not wait to go to the police. I don't give a shit what people say schools apparently do to tackle bullying, there are far more cases of schools belittling issues caused by troublesome children simply to create the least fuss.
In DS's class there is one kid who's a fucking horror and as such, they don't deal with every offence as it would mean he's being reprimanded like 90% of the day. Schools often "pick their battles". They know he's a shit. Even if his home life was turbulent (it's not, he's just spoiled and allowed by mumsie to do what he wants). It's unfair that a troubled child can harm others.

My own DD is very quiet. Doesn't make a peep and as such is usually sat next to the loud aggressive ones in an effort to promote calmer classes. When they do something like thump my DD, my DD just says "Ow" and sadly puts her head back down. The bad kid then stops at they get no reaction but guess what? MY kid still got hit!

Go to the police. Harass the school. It's not YOUR fault this kid has issues and a broken wrist is way beyond what I could tolerate.

BoneyBackJefferson · 20/05/2017 14:05

Another vote for going to the police

But just be aware that it tie the schools hands even more.

and also adding to ASauvingnonADay's post it may add another layer of protection more support to the bully.

Spadequeen · 20/05/2017 14:06

Why wait to report? So that the school can try and convince you it's a one off and they'll put measures in place? Did that. Report.

Branleuse · 20/05/2017 14:09

tbh it sounds like the boy might have SEN with those sort of behaviour issues, but that doesn't mean he won't be suspended

ASauvingnonADay · 20/05/2017 14:12

But if he is 9, what will the police do? (I ask this as a genuine question, as I'm not sure if the answer!)

nancy75 · 20/05/2017 14:14

I have said this on other threads- if someone walked up to you in the street & pushed you so hard you fell & broke a bone what would you do? Nobody would hesitate to call the police, I don't understand why school is different. Schools are generally dreadful at dealing with bullys maybe a visit from the police might shock the child into better behaviour

Astro55 · 20/05/2017 14:14

You should have gone straight to the police and not given the school a heads up - they now have time to cover up

Get a copy of the incident and there should be a grey form completed for serious injuries -

Next read the complaints procedure - this tells you what you should expect to happen (example written reply within 5 days)

Put your complaint in writing - even the DH meeting 'further to our conversation on Friday where you suggested I held off from contacting the police - and that you would ring HT blah blah

Make a trail -

twelly · 20/05/2017 14:19

The school have a duty of care, they have failed in this and it appears it is not a one off therefore they should have taken action before to protect children form this type of behaviour. It is appalling that another child can inflict such havoc over time on others.

ineedaholidaynow · 20/05/2017 14:19

I was going to ask what the police would do, as the child would be under 10.

Check your school policies for bullying and complaints procedures and ensure they are being followed. Ask the Head how they propose to safeguard your child?

They will not be able to tell you how the other child has been dealt with.

Your poor DD

Hidingtonothing · 20/05/2017 14:23

I doubt reporting it will have much effect on the school tbh OP, other than possibly making it harder for them to do nothing and brush the incident under the carpet the way so many schools seem to with bullying, so I would go ahead and make it official with the police.

As for the other child the school is right that they can't discuss with you what will happen to him but they should be able to quote their anti bullying policy and how that will be implemented and they should be able to outline what will be done to protect your DD and make her feel safe at school again. Don't be afraid to emphasise the impact this has had on DD and ask for specifics about what will be done to rebuild her (and your) trust in the schools' ability to keep her safe.

And if there's even a whisper about the bully's 'right' to an education (something which often seems to be trotted out by schools when parents ask difficult questions about their response to bullying) make sure you're like a dog with a bone about your DD's right to an education and to not be physically hurt or afraid while she receives it. All the best to you and DD, hope her arm heals quickly

twelly · 20/05/2017 14:26

Totally agree, your child has a right to school where they are safe, the other child's needs are irrelevant in respect of this.

gallicgirl · 20/05/2017 14:27

I would make sure you complain in writing to the school, headteacher and chair of governors. I believe Ofsted then make a note of all bullying incidents when they inspect and investigate how the school reacts. School are more likely to do something about it when it's recorded formally.

user1490395938 · 20/05/2017 14:27

Awww hope your dd is OK. I'm sorry but behavioural issues or not, it just isn't acceptable and yes he clearly needs help!!

Padfoot1 · 20/05/2017 14:28

The Head would have had a meeting with the other child's parents on Friday and I assume the meeting with you on Monday will be to confirm the action taken against the child, which should be temporary exclusion at the very least. It is likely the child has ongoing issues that the school are aware of. They will not be fobbing you off or trying to cover anything up so please give the school time to deal with this issue properly. If on Monday you feel the school haven't sanctioned the child you may be able to escalate to the local authority.

QuackDuckQuack · 20/05/2017 14:41

I agree that the police should be told. I think that the police should be involved in schools more than they currently are. If nothing else then at least they can warn the boy and his parents that once he is 10 then he is at risk of police act against him for that sort of behaviour.

QuackDuckQuack · 20/05/2017 14:41

Action, not act

Justmadeperfectflapjacks · 20/05/2017 14:50

Report to the police. Your dd is the victim. . And he needs properly punished not some attempt at such by the head. .
By Monday he will have assumed he has gotten away with it and likely planning his next course of attack and next victim.

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