I am not sure how to handle a situation so would appreciate some advice. Quite long ....
My DD is at an independent school, we moved her there a few years ago because she was getting bullied. During the last 2 years since she moved schools she has come on leaps and bounds ...I wouldnt say she has a very strong friendship (the school catchment is a massive area) base but she tends to be liked by a wide range of girls at the school and has a couple of close friends at the school.
She has recently become friendly with one of the girls (A) who is associated with quite a large friendship group who my daughter doesnt particularly engage well with (she was friends with a few of the group when she first started at the school but realised they had nothing in common and gradually engaged with other girls who she had more in common with).
(A) asked my daughter if she would like to go to the cinema on Saturday (the request was made on Friday), (A) stated that she suffers sometimes of anxiety attacks and would feel better if DD could go to the cinema with her and one of the other girls from school - she said she found DD quite calming. DD said she would speak to me and I said YES, arrangements seem to change from going to the cinema to going into town on the Friday evening - which wasnt a problem. There were 3 of them going into town and they were due to meet at 10am.
Saturday morning - very early snapchat to say (A) had a problem because her dad had booked a double piano lesson so could not make 10am but did my DD want to go to cinema at 11.40 (which was the original plan), my DD said yes OK and what time and where to meet.... A then did not reply to any snapchats (or even open the snapchats) or answer a call my DD made ...so I advised DD to just send a further text stating have not heard from you and assume you are not going to cinema therefore decided to go shopping this was just after 11.40 when the film was due to start.
DD then gets a snapchat about 1hr later stating that (A) is at the cinema with the whole friendship group which she is associated with (4/5 girls), they were watching the 11.40 film.
DD quite upset (I am too because obviously I had changed my plans to take DD to meet A) it looks like these arrangements with the friendship group had been in place all along (or made late Friday evening) and I am not sure what happened - whether A had not told the group my DD was going along until that morning and they didnt want her to come so they told A to not pick up Snapchats or answer the call.....or whether arrangements had been made the previous evening after DD had left (A) at school - my DD plays netball on Friday nights so doesnt engage in social media that night....it just didnt make sense - why invite DD if you already have plans (DD did not know about the other girls going) ....either way I'm not happy with (A)'s behaviour towards my DD she could have just cancelled in the morning instead of messing DD around and making my DD look silly to (A's) friendship group - especially when DD was effectively going to provide support for (A)...
I'm trying to give advice to DD but I dont know how she should handle this issue tomorrow - my initial thoughts are for DD to say hope you enjoyed the film, sorry communication failed but not sure why you invited me because you already had arrangements.....and then to cool the friendship (girl (A) tends to get involved in allot of the Yr 10 drama between all the girls - I wouldnt say she's popular but has been at the school since she was 7 !)
I just really feel for DD because she was happy that she had been invited out by girl (A).