Hi, please bare with me this is my first ever post.
I feel like I'm not really being heard so I was wondering if anyone on here had any experience or advice similar that may help me feel like I'm doing something positive for my children.
Let me start by saying I'm a mum of 5, all under 11yrs. I'm a stay at home mum with anxieties which focus around my children (mainly their safety)
Last may we went through a horrible ordeal where my second oldest child, my (then 8) daughter was abducted by 13 & 15 year old boys who we never previously knew but later found out lived in the area. A few weeks previous my D celebrated her 8th birthday and with the jelp of my counsellor at Link I started to allow my two elder children to play in front of the house with their friends. This was where she was taken, for other 2.5hrs later found by armed police being held by these "lads" come December the case was dropped as in the eyes of the law there wasn't enough to prosecute. This resulted in my family having to move home, the police didn't feel she would be safe staying where we were.
We moved 40 minutes away from all family and friends to a new school and home in January.
Going to a new school meant any previous help with my D's education (she had her own support teacher due to mental health reasons) stopped. This new school was proving to be very ignorant of my D's needs so I started to complain about this.
Fast forward to last week, my two elder children were due to go on a trip with the school to an activity site (a bit like a camp) for 5 days. I paid over £500 for them both to go.
They were due to leave on the Monday, so on the Friday I started to become nervous and thought I would contact the deputy head. They promised me my children would be absolutely fine, settled my worries about D and said they had already spoken to the 6 teachers who will be accompanying them.
Being the anxious mother I am I still wanted to speak to D's teacher who I knew was also going. I explained my concerns of D not wanting to take part and they were already aware of her mental health anything so understood. They too promised to keep an extra close eye on her.
So, Monday they left. I had no contact until the Friday when my son got off the coach with a black eye. I immediately put it down to the activities or playground play. He's 11, loves football and a real lad.
They got in the house and that's when my son told us what happened on TUESDAY evening.
This is where things get emotional and messy...
He explained him and a couple friends were outside in the dark along with all the other children playing a game where they collect cards. He heard a girl upset and went with his friends to investigate. When he arrived he saw it was his little sister. Behind her was a bigger boy in their school holding her arms behind her back, infront of her was a boy also in their school "humping" her (In his words) his friend got the boy from behind off and the other friend got the boy from the front while he took his sister to a member of staff at this centre, there were NO teachers around.
this member of staff asked my son and his friends to go collect the two boys, when they did a fight started and resulted in my son having a black eye, his friend being hit and another friend being hit in the nose causing a bleed.
a teacher then arrived and only dealt with the assault, not sexual assault.
she sent the boys to their rooms for 2 minutes and left it at that.
my D was asked what happened she told them and nothing was done.
later that night that same teacher knocked on her door and asked her if she was ok, my D replied yes and the teacher asked if she wanted to see her brother. on her way to her brother another teacher and centre staff member asked D what happened, again she told them. she then saw her brother and went back to her room.
NOTHING was done, my D spent the rest of her week upset, down and not wanting to play on the activities.
I found all this out on FRIDAY evening, at first i didn't want to believe it after what happened last year so I would wait until monday and speak to the school, maybe my children had it wrong?
come Saturday the mother of the boy who "humped" D rang me, she was very distressed and apologised for her sons behaviour. she said he told her the whole truth and she was devastated. she asked why I hadn't called the police and I explained I hadn't believed it until she confirmed it.
sunday morning we decided to report it to the police.
come Monday morning my younger children went into school as usual but we took the older two to reception, we wanted a meeting with the head.
he practically walked passed us after we waited for him and got in his car and drove off, we ended up having to deal with the deputy. (the one who called me that Friday before)
she didn't know anything about the incident which prompt my husband to ask why, even just assault a smack to the face is a head injury we should have been notified. atleast spoken to by teachers when we collected them.
she had no explanation.
in the end my son decided he wanted to stay in school, my D didn't. she came home with me because she said if the boys were still at school she didn't feel safe.
it is now Tuesday and the boys are still at the school while my d stays home. to me she should be at school and the boys suspended, surely?
the advice I need is, the police say there's nothing criminal they can do as the boys are 9yrs old. a year under the criminal responsible age. I guess I don't have much choice but accept that?
they previously agreed to investigate the school and the activity centre to find out why there were no staff supervising and why this could happen.
I've since been told the only thing I can do is write a complaint to the school, which I will do (once I figure out what to actually say) and then a letter to board of directors of the school.
To me it seems so pointless, basically yes a serious incident occurred but we wont be dealing with it you will have to write a complaint as well as deal with your family and the emotions along with that... is there anything more I can do that will actually get me anywhere?
I will still do the complaint but that will take weeks/months for them to even acknowledge it and by the way the school have been since we came here I can see they are the type to sweep issues under the carpet.
any help is greatly appreciated, I'm sorry for the long post.