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Bullying

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Damaging Rumours

15 replies

rosasharn · 12/08/2015 10:53

Hi, this is my first time on Mumsnet but I really need help.
My 15 year old son was popular, happy, loving life then that all stopped very suddenly at the beginning of the Easter holidays. He didn't understand why. His birthday fell during the holiday and none of the small group of his "best Friends", that he'd invited for a sleep over, came.
When he got back to school he discovered one boy had spread a rumour that he had raped a girl at a party - this was completely untrue, no basis whatsoever. The rumour was so widely believe that some uninvolved parents had contacted the police who interviewed the girl she also denied it (and was upset because she wasn?t initially believed) and no action was taken. However the rumour gathered momentum ? people shouted ?rapist? at my son everywhere he went, he was removed from every social media group that he belonged to, people refused to sit beside him in class, he had no-one to go to lunch with and was mocked for this, at one stage he was hiding in a toilet cubicle during lunchtime and a boy climbed up inside the next cubicle and took a picture of him.
He has lost weight, developed headaches, refused to go to school and a couple of times when I thought he?d gone to school he hadn?t.
I am really worried about him, I have spoken to the police who said they can do nothing, I have asked the school for help and they have tried, the boy who started the rumour was excluded for a few days but is back and making life hell for my son. I have written to the headmaster asking for his help to stop the rumours but he didn?t even reply.
It has been suggested that I take legal action against the child who started the rumour as my son?s reputation has been damaged and ?mud sticks?. I have found out that parents, some whom I would have considered my friends, people who have known my son all his life, believe the rumours and if not encouraging their children to avoid my son they are at least condoning their behaviour towards him!
Has anyone got any advice??

OP posts:
Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 12/08/2015 11:00

Jesus, this is really bad. I really feel for your son. Have any of his friends come back? Not one supportive mate?

wakeupandsmellthecoffee · 12/08/2015 11:06

OMG
I'm so so sorry this is happening to your DS .I have a 16 year old and I would be devastated .I think your only option is to take the legal route I don't see what else you can do .I know what I would like to do to the little shit that started this rumour . He probably did it for a really stupid and minor reason that did not deserve this amount of serious trouble .
Hoping you can sort this out .x

PLUtoPlanet · 12/08/2015 11:24

God, that's terrible. Legal action sounds the only thing which will stop it at this stage, since people will then be forced to go on record, and evidence will actually be examined (Facebook posts scrutinised, etc.). Have you got screenshots? If you do do this, it would be best to inform the girl's family in writing, as a courtesy, before anything is put into motion.

Maybe if you are awarded any damages, you could make a point of donating them to Rape Crisis or something similar, in order to make the point that you are not in any way condoning rape by taking this legal action.

Rape is really not something to lie about. Angry

rosasharn · 12/08/2015 11:29

A couple of his friends have come back but they don't advertise it as everyone is terrified of the bully and don't want his attention to turn to them!

OP posts:
GreenSkittles · 12/08/2015 11:29

Get legal advice asap, and definitely pursue this as far as you can.

rosasharn · 12/08/2015 11:35

Thank you, we don't have any screenshots but I'm sure if it was investigated we could find some, and I think the little girl has been through a horrible time too, my daughter has met her and says she's a lovely girl but vulnerable. Thank you for your support.

OP posts:
Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 12/08/2015 11:49

I doubt any child wants this attention . This girls reputation is also at risk surely. Maybe a joint action?

PLUtoPlanet · 12/08/2015 11:55

When you say "little girl", how old is that? You mentioned your son is 15.

Georgethesecond · 12/08/2015 11:56

I don't see how legal action (what action, anyway?) will help. It is a case of spreading the word, I think. Given the effect on your son, I'm surprised the school won't do more - maybe you could ask them again?

VerityWaves · 12/08/2015 11:58

Oh my god I'm so sorry.
How awful for your son poor boy.

pieceofpurplesky · 12/08/2015 12:03

I am surprised the police won't come in to schools todeal with it. School should get an external company - such as the police - to do an assembly in Internet safety andcyberbulkying - bringing in how lies stick. I have attended similar

PLUtoPlanet · 12/08/2015 12:08

I don't see how legal action (what action, anyway?) will help. It is a case of spreading the word, I think.

The word has already been spread, and now no-one will believe the opposite unless the claim is properly investigated. Giving evidence is quite different from repeating gossip.

rosasharn · 13/08/2015 09:39

The 'little girl' was 14 at the time, she just seems very little to me! I have a meeting at the school today to see what they suggest. I just want to try to reverse the damage, and don't know the best way to do it, it has gone so far already.

OP posts:
Georgethesecond · 13/08/2015 11:43

Yes but what evidence, in what case? Libel isn't a cheap cause of action and there is no legal aid for it. And I can't think what else could be relevant.

waitforrose · 19/10/2015 11:00

Can you get the school to countersign a formal letter to be sent to the home addresses of the parents? You write the letter, perhaps with legal advice beforehand, then show the head, or even the governors.

This is so horrible. Mud can stick but I would try anything.

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