Teacher says bully is not a bully but my DD friend :s

[beedeepullen]

hiya all,

ok so I have always kept my DD close by to me as she has several disabilities and I am her full time carer.
When she is well enough to attend school, which is not a lot as she is always poorly (also poorly as I post this ), she finds it difficult to make friends as she is very shy and has never been around a large group of people.
but she does have this one close friend at school who she loves dearly which makes me happy knowing she has some one close when she is at school.

for the past 5 month there has been another girl in my DD class who has been bulling my DD.
it started with the name calling, then the spitting, then the hitting!!

I at first had a word with my DD teacher who said she would resolve the matter and it would not happen again. so I took the word of the teacher and said fair enough but please make sure it is resolved.

the second time it happened, I had a meeting with my DD teacher who told me she was going to have a word with the bully's parents. I told the teacher that if it was to happen again then I myself would have a word with the bully's parents.

here we are a third time!!! so again I have spoken to my DD teacher who explained she had a word with the bully, but not her parents, which I was told she would do.
so the teacher lied to me and tried to smooth things over by saying that my DD and the bully are actually friends and play together at school

so every time my DD comes home from school I ask her the usually questions: how was your day? what did you learn about today? what did you have for lunch etc. etc.
I then ask her if every one has been nice to her at school and if she has made any new friends.

she has started to reply everything is fine when I can tell it is NOT !!
I'm her mum and I know when something is up.

so this morning whilst getting her ready for school she asked me if she could take some little plastic gems into school to give to the bully so that she would be nice to her.
THIS BROKE MY HEART

its clear the teacher has resolved nothing. and if my DD is friends with this bully then why is she frightened of her ?????

my DD has came home from school and asked me to never take her back.
I think that says it all.

I feel I have no choice but to speak to the bully's parents my self.

the girl who is bullying my DD is Muslim... So I know if it was the other way around and my DD was bullying the Muslim girl then she would receive a telling off and it would be branded as racism.

so why is it different ?

OK so race isn't the issue here. You are angry - I'd be raging!

Ask to meet the head. Put it in writing. Put everything in writing.

Ask what the schools policy on bullying is. Write everything down and take it with you - so that you can calmly read through the events and non/action. Be very clear what you want done on the back of this .

Poor kid. How old is she?

thank you for you quick reply :)

I will do as you advised and start to write everything down. I just feel like I need this resolved last week not tomorrow if you know what I mean.

I wish I could just leave it in the teachers hands which I have done on many occasion but nothing seems to get resolved.

do you think it would be ok to have a word with the bully's parents?

I just don't want my DD waking up every morning dreading going to school.

my DD has just turned 6 yrs olds and does not have a bad bone in her body.
she has been brought up to be polite, loving, honest and kind.

its just such ashame that bullying can start at such a young age and it definitely goes to show not all children are brought up with the same values. :(

bully's are the worse kind of human there is and its heart breaking to read how some bullying stories end and I do not want my beautiful DD to become one of these victims.

I wouldn't speak to the parents. It will just become a 'he said she said' and of course, their little angel wouldn't hurt a fly.

Its getting towards the end of term so you need this fixed now. Make an appointment with the teacher and head asap and dong be fobbed off. Take in your 'diary' and someone with you if you feel that you might cry/punch someone. You mean business!

Give your girl a big hug, say that you are on her side and are going to try your best to sort this put as it this just not right.

I know just how u feel. My DD yr6 has dyspraxia and ASD, she's been bullied since day 1. I spoke to the head and class teacher, some issues did get resolved. The best thing the school did though, on the advice of her Ed. psych was to set up a chill out club at lunchtime, which is always the worst time.
I'm now a school dinnerlady since febuary, and seeing the other side. We've never been told about any bullying issues, I mainly hear about issues from friends whose kids are being bullied and I can then keep an extra eye on them. I would specifically say to the head that u would like the playground staff informed of the situation.
Hope you get it resolved really soon.