We have found out this week that our eldest Dd, who is 7, is being bullied by her supposed best friend at school.
DD has been displaying some worrying behaviour since early last year, picking and scratching at herself. She got chicken pox in the summer and picked constantly at the scabs and she now has some scars on her arms. We have tried to get to the bottom of it all since it started, asking her whether anything was wrong and checking whether everything was OK at school, but she said everything was fine and that she was happy at school and really enjoyed it. We've let her know that she can talk to us at any time and have tried again to broach the subject over a number of months, but she has never opened up about it.
This week DD has been at my parents and broke down in tears when my dad asked her about a fresh scratch on her face. Apparently she tried to shrug it off at first but when he asked her if she was happy at school etc she told him she wasn't. A girl in her class, who we've thought was her best friend, has been very bossy with DD, shouting at her, not letting her play with her other friends at break times or do what she wants to do, makes DD be her friend and tries to get DD to keep secrets and not tell. She told my dad that she has not told anyone because she didn't want to get into trouble. I'm so sad for DD and feel awful that she's felt unable to tell us anything.
Thinking about it, this girl has been quite intense at times and whenever I pick DD up from school club the girl will come and stare sadly out of the window after Dd and they always have to do this silly dance before she leaves. The girl has told DD some tall tales about being able to go on holiday with her over Easter, which we thought at the time was just her over exaggerating. The was also an incident a few weeks ago were this girl hit Dd by accident because apparently she 'didn't see her'. DD was not in a class with this girl in reception, but the classes got moved around and they've been in a class together since year one. The whole issue of DD picking at herself began half way through year one. I know that could just be a coincidence but now that this has come out it seems more likely that DD is being bullied by this girl's possessiveness.
My dad, having spoken to DD more as she is still there at the moment, seems to think that DD is very scared of this girl and is doing things to please her. As the saying goes 'keep your friends close, but your enemies closer'. He asked whether she'd been hitting her or anything like that, but DD said no. He thinks there is something else that DD is just not saying but doesn't want to push her.
School starts again on Monday and I am going to try and see her teacher first thing. My DD and this girl are not only in class together but also in school club together, so there is no real 'escape' for my DD at all. The thing I'm worried about is that on the surface they look like best friends and I'm worried that although things look OK on the surface that this girl will continue to be possessive of DD and this cause her more harm. DD is unhappy and it has taken us pretty much a year to get this out of her. How do I best broach this with school? Any advice would be gratefully received on the situation.