Pinching, headlocks and spitting

[WonderIfThingsWillChange]

I've just been told by my 8 year old DS that his best friends pinch him everyday "too control the volume of his voice" and too see how loud he can scream. They "strangle" him (in his words, which he described and sounds like a headlock) and on Friday one of the boys was spitting on him. Apparently this has been going on for a while on the school yard but we have just found out.

I was bullied in school and am devastated that my boy is going through it too. We plan on speaking to both sets of parents and the school. We have also had witness reports (from other boys in the class) to this behaviour so know our son's account of the events to be true. He cried in rugby this morning for missing a try, not because he missed but because he said his friends will laugh at him in school on Monday.

How do we best support our son through this?

Do not speak to the other parents!!!!!

Go direct to the school and ask what they are going to do to safeguard your son from now on.

Ask to see their anti-bullying policy and get a copy of it, hold them to it. Hopefully it is a great school and they will deal with the situation immediately.

Has you DS any other friendships you could support & encourage?

Ah ok! We thought it best to mention to parents in a casual way as we are friendly with them. Do the conversation would be something like"my DS has said that these things have happened in school, we know there are 2 sides to every story so may you could chat with your DS and see what's happening? Oh and we will let school know what's been said just in case" is that a bad idea then? Just thinking if it was my DS being accused I may prefer to hear about it from the parent rather than the school first?

Unfortunately there are not many boys in his class and they all play together so while he has other friends he can't escape these boys really.

Will definitely ask school for anti bullying policy though - thank you

I would ask for an URGENT meeting with the teacher/head. You tell them "DS has said x y z has happened, this needs sorting out - please can you speak to me tomorrow to tell me what is going to be done"

Leave the school to establish what has happened/not happened.

I've had a parent accuse my dd of bullying (turned out to not be true) and I was absolutely devastated and had to wait for a few days for the school look into etc. Awful. You also want the school to be able to see all the boys gut reactions as the questions.

What happens at school needs to be sorted out at school - obviously if there is bullying and it continues and the school doesn't resolve it then that is the time to demand to know what the school is doing to protect your child (as is their duty).

We haven taken your advice not to involve parents and will be making an appointment with his teacher tomorrow. I've checked out the bullying policy on their website too so armed with info. Thanks for you help