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Bullying

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Advice wanted, thanks!

1 reply

aliportico · 09/05/2012 10:15

My dd is nearly 14, and in Y9 at a large mixed comp. She only started at this school last September, having been home educated until then. She can be shy, but has settled in well and made a nice group of friends. However ...

She's had a few instances lately where she's had things thrown at her - an empty water bottle (twice) in one lesson, a pen in another, and yesterday during break a half-eaten apple hit her as she was going down some stairs. She knew who threw the first bottle at her (which was dismissed by the teacher as an accident), but didn't know where the other things came from, so it's hard to do anything about it there and then.

I've just emailed her form tutor, as she hasn't gone in to school today - she was crying so much this morning that I just couldn't send her out on the bus. I'm okay telling her to toughen up about dealing with social situations, but if she comes home from school saying she's been physically hurt (the apple hurt!) then I do feel I need to make her feel that I am protecting her.

I'm reluctant to label it as bullying - there doesn't seem to be much intent behind it - but she does feel picked on. She does have a tendency to impute the worst possible motives to people, but she is genuinely very upset rather than angry about this, and just doesn't know what to do. And to be honest, I don't either - I've never had any experience of that sort of thing. I can tell her to ignore it, but was hoping for some more helpful advice!

OP posts:
itsstillgood · 09/05/2012 13:26

I think you have to gently point out that these things were probably not aimed at her. In a large comp it may well be these things are being chucked about randomly and your daughter has been unlucky. Tell her to point out to the member of staff on duty that things are being thrown or to loudly call out 'can you please be careful, that hurt!' or simply ignore - rise above it.

Encourage her to talk to her friends about it and hopefully they will be able to reassure her that it is nothing personal. And possibly have a quiet word with one or two yourselves and get their take. It may even be some idiot boy fancies her and is trying to get her attention Wink.

My kids have never been to school (home educated although younger than your dd) and are often completely baffled by the behaviour of school kids in large groups. So it may be she is completely misreading things.

If you think she's right then contacting the form tutor is the right step to take. Anyway they should be able to reassure your daughter. They should be able to offer you both support and advice.

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