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Bullying

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bully in reception year, school seems to be struggling

7 replies

toomuchsand · 21/01/2012 03:32

My ds is 4.5yr and in reception. Since Sept we have had to speak to the teacher at least once or twice a week regarding a boy in his class who pushes, kicks, snatches,-he cannot even stand in line without pushing someone over. When walking past a child he will poke them or push them, at snack time is knocks food to the floor and snatches toys or books etc. In the playground he is worse. The teacher has told me many other parents have complained.
This boy has had his parents at the school and is often stopped playtime. None of this seems to bother him, and he just laughs when hurting someone.

Last week, he snatched a well done sticker from another boy and ds took it back and gave it to the other boy. The bully punched ds, winding him and casuing him stomach pain all afternoon. I asked why he didn't tell the teacher and he said he had just been called as I was waiting at the classroom door and he wanted to go home. I complained to the teacher again the next day.

DS cries every morning, wakes up early (5.00am) not wanting to go to school and has had a stress acne round his mouth since sept- it gets all red and angry all week, goes down last morning of school, gone by end of weekend, back after school first day back.

DS cries at bedtime too as he doesn't want to go. He is also being affected by this boy bullying others- he picks on really small children and ds cries about how he knows the bully will do it again, and he hates the anticipation to see it. he cries for the children and it breaks my heart.

what can I do? what can the school do? will ds have this boy in the same class until he leaves school? its so miserable for us all. ds hates school, dreads going, and is is only 4

sorry about the long post, hope it explains things

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savoycabbage · 21/01/2012 05:21

When my dd was picked on in reception I was overly nice to the other girl.

I always greeted her and told her her hair looked nice or that she looked lovely in her new cardigan. I waved at her across the playground. I praised her reading when I helped in the classroom.

My own dd became less scared/worried as she saw me treating the little girl as a human being and the other girl started seeing my dd as a person who watched octonauts and liked orange jelly too-or whatever I managed to get into the conversation.

toomuchsand · 21/01/2012 10:49

that's good that worked for you and your dd, but I don't think this work for us. Saying goodmorning and being pleasant is what we do with all the children, but ds is stuck in an enviroment where this boy is and can do nothing. He is treated pleasantly by everyone and it doesn;t seem to sink in. I tell ds to tell him he can play if he is nice and say maybe he is missing home and it makes him behave like this, but its been going on since sept last year, all day everyday. being laughed at when you are trying to be nice, and letting someone play with you then they push you over and lick you then run off laughing nearly everyday is too much - imo!

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toomuchsand · 21/01/2012 10:49

kick , not lick!

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toomuchsand · 22/01/2012 12:27

bump...

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MoaningMinnieWhingesAgain · 22/01/2012 12:34

If you have spoken to the teacher and nothing has changed I would make an appt to see the head. I would get a copy of the schools bullying policy, and speak to the teacher about it one more time first though - make an appt to see her after school rather than trying to grab a quick word at pick up time.

I would be talking to them about your concerns that DS is getting hurt, is scared of coming to school, and in the long term could easily result in your DS having poor attendance

Or I would look at moving him to another school - which doesn't fix it of course, but you first concern is your DS, understandably.

daisysue2 · 24/01/2012 09:34

I would say that this isn't a bullying issue this is a child with problems, the child may be on the ASD spectrum or have Emotional and Behavioural issues. So it's not really about bullying it's about how the school are managing the child's behaviour. You need to talk to the teach and say that you understand this but that the school need to implement a structure that keeps the other children safe and happy which is their right. The school probably isn't putting in the support that is need for a child such as this, ie extra support, social groups, firm boundaries and reward systems. Don't let it go on for the sake of the little boy.

toomuchsand · 24/01/2012 18:55

thanks for the advice. i spoke to a mom yesterday who had already been to the head of year as her ds was coming home everyday bitten and bruised from this boy. they said that it was her ds too and both boys were involved, which she felt was a cop out as ALL the moms had moaned to the teacher. they are thinking of moving schools and we are very concerned he will be in the same year next year. the difficult child is the youngest in the class, but the biggest and strongest.

i will go to the head, but i have a feeling i will get nowhere apart from they will keep an eye on them . i would love to take him out of the school

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