Please or to access all these features

Bullying

Find advice from others who have experienced school or workplace bullying on our Bulllying forum.

How can I support dd 5 who's being bullied by class mate?

3 replies

elinora · 13/11/2011 00:42

DD is in year 1. She is shy but has friends. During Reception year she was so quiet school were concerned but she's really taken to year 1. I have never had cause to speak to school about bullying before.
There is 1 girl in dd's class who almost seems to seek her out to be unkind. This little girl has a lovely mum and Dad and 2 older primary age sisters.
She regularly tells dd to stop staring at her.She tells her off e.g. for getting changed slowly after PE. She whispers to other girls about her in front of her. She laughs at dd's facial expressions, and at what she says. DD gets flummoxed and doesn't know what to do. She then either stands there silently feeling embarassed or getd overcome and cries. The class ask what's wrong and she doesn't dare say because the little girl is there.No other class members behave like this to dd. I think the worry I have is that this little girl is unlikely to stop of her own accord and as they get older and more self aware this could actually become quite unpleasant. The little girl concerned is very well behaved, confident with a good group of friends. I think I might have a hard time convincing the form teacher that this is happening because she wouldn't think such a nice and well behaved girl would do this.
DD is unwilling to assert herself because she's scared the other girl will get angry back.
I would like to go in and discuss this with the form teacher,tell her what dd is described and get a helpful outcome. I'm wondering if suggesting that dd and this girl should in some controlled situations actually be paired together so that they could form a more positive connection? Should I suggest this?
I'd really appreciate some advice on how to help dd be confident and assertive around this girl and to ensure the teacher listens and doesn't think I'm a whinging parent. Thanks for reading.

OP posts:
KickArseQueen · 13/11/2011 00:49

Speak to the teacher, they can't help if they don't know and it sounds as though its beyond your dd's confidence at the moment to speak up for herself. If what you describe was occuring between adults in a workplace I would find it intimidating.

I think your suggestion is an excellent one. Often teachers separate children when there is an issue, but that just kind of puts the situation on hold in my opinion, it doesn't fully resolve it! Good Luck!

elinora · 13/11/2011 00:53

Thanks KAQueen :)

OP posts:
MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 16/11/2011 18:51

I was going to say invite the little monster to tea and watch carefully.....she's picking this behaviour up from her older sisters probably and as well as doing this, you could role play with your DD. I had to do this with my very shy DD at a similar age when a "friend" of hers kept bossing her and picking on her.

I would get her to be the bully and I would be DD...and then i would demonstrate how to respond.

SO the bully would pull DD away from someone and tell her "You have to come with me NOW!" and I would pull my arm back and say "No! I don't want to and you're not asking nicely!"

DD used to laugh at my acting and she was able to assert herself after a while.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page