This is my second attempt to do a message but like so many mums juggling half term, running a social enterprise business, managing two homes(not by choice rather more market conditions) it is not surprising that when one of my teenagers called for help I accidentally deleted my message!!!
But I will try again.. I feel that what Mumsnet offers is such a wonderful opportunity to get support I just wish it had been around 16 years ago when my journey started as a working solo mum with 2 year old twin boys and a 5 year old daughter. Yesterday after travelling up from Somerset to my old stomping ground in Cumbria I sat in my friends car and reflected on times past. Both of us agreed that if we could stop any other parent going through what we had that would be a real achievement. The problem or rather challenges that faced both of us were the same and yet different. I could go on and on with all the terrible moments of bullying and educational problems that my family has experienced. For if one child is being bullied or having difficulties in a family it often affects everyone in that family. But bullying was only part of the challenge for this family. The twins had had to be separated educationally as at their first school the difficulty one twin albeit in a separate class was having impacted his brother. With hearing and speech difficulties and being refused an educational statement in no less than three counties I had no choice but to pay for this support in the private sector. But still the bullying continued as we moved schools and so for a few years I home educated this son. During this time I started to explore education so much did not "feel right". Some of the schools my children were attending at that stage and other local schools offered so much and achieved great statistics/ofsted reports. Yet this feeling I had was shared by many of the mums I knew. It was a state of stress and a mixture of not really feeling the education system was what or how we imagined it to be before we had sent ourr children to school. Then one night I had a most peculiar dream that was about the need to "Make a School". I wont bore you with what happened as it is far too much to tell here but just to say that within three months of that dream I had written a business plan and raised £2million through venture capital and bank and parents to build A NEW EDUCATIONAL BLUEPRINT SCHOOL. That was some 10 years ago. Did the school happen the answer sadly was no. Constantly out bid by competing property developers after no less than six site attempts I felt something was wrong and venture capatalists dont hang around for long. But what happened was the beginning of an incredible journey. My office had become almost a research and development unit with information coming in from around the world on all the best ideas to do with education and well-being. But family comes first and with no schools in Hertfordshire and my son now approaching 11 wanting to go back into school life I decided to move North where I understood he may get a better chance for smaller class sizes if nothing else. I remember taking photos of the boys both in their different school uniforms so proud to both be going to school albeit different ones! This was a soul searching time for me as I felt at times very alone given that all my friends and connections were over 300 miles away. But to see both boys happy was my goal and it seemed I had made the right decision. Sadly this joy was shortlived. I knew that the son with speech issues now identified as dyslexia was not his normal bubbly self. Hiding in the bath with the shower curtain drawn I teased him until drawing it back I saw that he was black between his legs and what looked like bite marks on his side. Again too much to write here what took place but it was clear that we had no choice if he was to be happy but to move again. No sooner had he settled at his next school than it was forced to close due to lack of numbers. His penultimate school nearly broke him and his sister by an incredible internet website which included leading sixth formers making obscene comments. Why? I kept asking myself was my son doing something wrong? too gentle? too old fashioned ? was it just because he had difficulty in expressing himself...? Worse was the fact he was failing academically which for him was a bigger issue as he said "mum the bullies are the unhappy ones" yet I could see the toll on his face and always the tears in private. One school handled the situation so badly they were inspected but it did not stop. Moving again was only going to be a solution if something could be improved... in the meantime I was being pressed by the orginal team and others from the school project to look at different ways of getting our ideas and others with cutting edge offerings out into the market place through the internet. One of the most profound discoveries was when I found a woman who gave me the answers I had held all these years in my heart yet no-one had been able to explain fully. For myself and many many others our educational system was looking at our children the wrong way; measuring them by the wrong method/route and no real solutions were given.
So as my friend and I said Goodbye yesterday she told me what I already knew that we must spread the word. Let each parent decide for themselves but let them make that decision FULLY INFORMED. To me the work of one of our discoveries Jane LLoyd who has made fantastic progress with children over the last 20 years should be incorporated into our current Educational Assessment Systems in the UK. Ironically abroad her work is taking off. I persuaded her to try again with the UK before she retires and her knowledge gets left in only a few hands. So she agreed and in November and December is for free holding some public meetings which if nothing else will be highly thought provoking. Discover the truth about how children think and what is a fallacy about learning difficulties... that children can shift out of these conditions if tapped into and and treated correctly and decide for yourself if there is a solution to age old issues of dyslexia ADHD Autism et al. My friends son was Autistic and out of control and life was hell until she met Jane! As I said just like this website I wish I had found Jane some 16 years ago life would have been so much easier and happier for this family. If you would like to find out more about her workshops or just read her expert articles please visit www.inasense.co.uk. I hope this small plug will be acceptable as I know it will help so many mums like me.