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Bullying

Find advice from others who have experienced school or workplace bullying on our Bulllying forum.

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Original poster

17yo being racially abused at college

46 replies

franch · 16/09/2011 17:22

Advice please. 17yo nephew has confided in me about racist bullying (physical and verbal) he's experiencing at college. Hasn't told his parents. Told a tutor - bully got a warning (3 warnings and he's out) but after that the bullying got much worse so he's afraid to tell again.

College website gives a no. and email address to contact re bullying, and says there's also a counsellor. I'm happy to talk to the college and will suggest the counsellor to him but would be interested to hear anyone's experiences and in particular I would like to know what action I ought to expect from the college as I don't think their response so far is adequate.

Thanks

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Original poster

franch · 16/09/2011 20:57

Bump

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Original poster

franch · 18/09/2011 17:12

Any info on what action I should ask for please?

Also do you think it's ok for me to approach the college without informing his parents? He doesn't want me to so I don't feel I have much choice; I hope if they find out they won't think I've acted inappropriately.

He's asked me to talk to the college for him so I'll be ringing them tomorrow.

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bubbles4 · 18/09/2011 17:15

Why will he not involve his parents?I couldnt stand back and do nothing if a 17 year old confided in me and asked for help.

Original poster

franch · 18/09/2011 20:16

Thanks bubbles. To be honest I'm not sure why he won't tell his parents; He was very definite about it and I guess I just accepted it. I just hope that if/when they do find out, they won't mind me stepping in without passing the info on to them.

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Blu · 18/09/2011 20:24

God, poor boy.

Giving the racist abuser a warning on a '3 warnings' basis is a CRAP response from the college. They should have a zero tolerance approach to racism. Apart form anyhting else, at 17 it's a criminal offence to racially abuse and physically attack someone.

I have no experience in this, am no expert, but I would expect the college to be as tough as anything over this, do all they can to keep the bully from coming anywhere near your DN, and threaten immediiate expulsion and police action in the event of further harrassment.

I would use terms like 'racial harrassment' and 'assault' - the criminal terms, rather than 'bullying' when talking to the college.

Given the fact that he is 17 and has confided in you, i would not tell his parents atm - and certainly not until you know why he doesn't want his parents told.

Is the perpretrator part of a gang or bigger movement that are active in the area your DN lives in?

Original poster

franch · 18/09/2011 20:46

Thanks blu, that's exactly how I feel - from what DN says, the college really aren't taking it seriously enough and I need to get tough on them.

I don't think the boy is part of anything bigger - not as far as I know anyway. It sounds like he's just the ringleader of a small group of very weak followers at the college.

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bubbles4 · 18/09/2011 21:49

If you dont feel like taking on the college by yourself,see if you can get in touch with the local Racial Equality Council ,we have used them before and they helped and advised us,they will take a tough stance against the college.
Good luck and let us know how it goes.

Original poster

franch · 19/09/2011 09:13

Great advice bubbles, many thanks. I'm going to call this morning and if I'm not happy I'll definitely try the Racial Equality Council - hadn't thought of that.

I asked DN about his parents - he said actually they do know, but not the full extent of it (ie the pushing around etc). He reiterated that he'd like me to do the call, so I'm going ahead as I don't think this can wait.

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Original poster

franch · 19/09/2011 10:06

Just rang, left a message on the safeguarding officer's voicemail.

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Blu · 19/09/2011 12:58

Good luck, franch.

It's great that he has someone on his side.

Original poster

franch · 19/09/2011 13:46

Thanks Blu. Safeguarding officer hasn't called me back yet ( they'd better call me back today) but DN has managed to speak to a tutor who's told him to come with her to 'identify' the perpetrator (as he doesn't know his name) on Wed. DN's told me that he's scared to do this so I've told him to make it clear to her that he's not prepared to be seen doing it. I'll also mention this to the safeguarding guy when he eventually phones me.

I think DN's finally found someone who's taking it seriously so hopefully we'll get some action now ...

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bubbles4 · 19/09/2011 16:28

If this bully has had a warning then somebody knows his name,cant the tutors liase with each other,I dont blame your dn not wanting to be seen doing it and I dont think they should expecct a 17 year old to either,

Have they rung yet?To be fair,the safeguarding officer may well teach as well so he will ring when free.

Original poster

franch · 19/09/2011 18:10

Seems I was wrong about him having been warned (DN initially told me the details by text, then we chatted in person yesterday so I'm now a bit clearer). DN had just been told that this was the system.

No call from the safeguarding officer yet. I hope I can talk to him before Wed.

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Blu · 19/09/2011 20:00

Bloody hell - this is so slack of the college!

Original poster

franch · 19/09/2011 22:59

Yes I'm really disappointed they haven't called me back. I think this is urgent. I've emailed this evening asking them to phone me tomorrow. DN has also given me the number to call for the tutor, so I'll try her if I hear nothing from the safeguarding officer.

DN reckons he can get the perpetrator's name by asking around, rather than having to go and physically point him out with a tutor. However he is utterly terrified of what this guy will do once he knows DN has reported him. I need to speak to the college about how they will ensure DN's safety.

Right now I feel like going straight to the local Racial Equality Council as bubbles mentioned, or even to the police. Like you said Blu, this isn't just bullying, it's criminal behaviour and DN is only going to feel safe if the guy is kicked out altogether. The longer the college sits on this the more harshly I want it dealt with.

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bubbles4 · 20/09/2011 06:35

Why dont you leave another message outlining what you are going to do if they dont take action.As you say you need to stress that your dn,s safety is of utmost importance.Do you know what LEA the college come under,there may well be a Diversity officer there you can deal with.Good luck,hpe you get some results soon.

Original poster

franch · 20/09/2011 14:24

Thanks bubbles. Local Racial Equality Council is defunct apparently (great), but DN knows someone who used to work there so he's going to speak to her.

I called the national Equality Commission helpline and they were helpful about the definition of racial harassment (which this definitely is) and about what I should expect from the college: initially, details of their bullying and racial harassment policies and details of how they are following the policies in this case.

The woman said she'd find out whether or not I needed parental consent in order to discuss the actual details of DN's case with them; she'll email me back this afternoon. If I don't need consent then she can email me specific advice.

Still nothing from Safeguarding Officer. I've left him another message.

Have also left a message for the tutor whom DN spoke to. DN reckons she will call me back today. If not I'm going to try the Principal.

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bubbles4 · 20/09/2011 17:16

sounds like you may have to go straight to the principal if nobody calls you back.

I,m surprised to hear about your local Local Racial Equality Council being defunct,the one in our area is still going,I get regular newsletters off the lady we dealt with there,

Original poster

franch · 21/09/2011 10:56

Safeguarding Officer finally rang me back this morning and was a bit rubbish. I asked what action they would take and he said 'Well we can't do anything if we don't know who the boy is.' When I asked what they'd do when they did know, he said 'We'll deal with it.' I said 'How?', and he said 'We can take him out and shoot him if you like' - which I didn't find particularly helpful.

Anyway he eventually said that, depending on the details of the case, they could either send him a warning letter, ask him to leave for a while 'to cool off a bit', or ask him to leave the college altogether.

He said he's speak to the tutor that DN talked to (she did call me back yesterday but missed me) and they'd work something out. I asked him to get back to me and let me know what's happening.

Can't say I'm too impressed but at least I've spoken to a human being now. I've emailed the Equality Commission to see if they can give me any more guidance on what I should expect and whether they can discuss the actual case with me. (They didn't get back to me yesterday as promised either but I hope to hear from them today.)

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mightymouth · 21/09/2011 15:50

the college should be actively working to comply with the Equality Act 2010 which requires proactive work to prevent racism. You could speak to the local authority. Try the Equality officer or the Safeguarding Board in your local authority. Another useful avenue might be your community safety police officers if they have not been lost in the cuts. They are good about neighbourhood safety and college students have told me the bullying occurs more in the streets and buses around the colleges rather than in the college. They often go in to schools and colleges and work with students. The tutors should be on this at once.

Original poster

franch · 21/09/2011 19:38

Thanks MM, that's really useful. I'm very grateful for all the knowledge and support shared here.

It's an independent college though so I don't think the local authority holds any sway? According to the Equality Commission, independent institutions aren't subject to the same regulations. Great advice though - had thought of the police but hadn't thought of the community safety team, that would be ideal - especially if DN feels unsafe outside college.

The perpetrator has been identified and the Safeguarding Officer is going to get all the details from DN tomorrow. I've advised DN to make detailed notes, and to take someone (e.g. his grown-up brother who used to work for the local Equality Council) with him. (I'm in a different city or I would go.) The boy has been spoken to but has flatly denied everything, and is apparently going around even more smug than ever. While DN was talking to the tutor, the boy was behind them making chicken noises - so I don't think he's going to be easy to deal with.

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bubbles4 · 23/09/2011 07:25

Have you had any joy in sorting this situation out?

Original poster

franch · 23/09/2011 09:12

Thanks for asking, bubbles. It's all going a lot more slowly than I'd like, but I guess I just have to be patient. Apparently the Safeguarding Officer can't see the perpetrator till Monday, and in the meantime he's asked for full details (either in writing or in person) from DN. I've advised DN that if he can't get someone to go with him, he should give the details in writing.

So we just have to wait till next week. Bit concerned that (a) they're not striking while the iron's hot, and (b) they'll end up in a 'his word against yours' situation (although DN does have witnesses, so fingers crossed).

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Blu · 23/09/2011 10:08

The colleges response to this is really shocking. 'we can shoot him if you like' is a disgraceful and silly response to something really serious.

I would now log everything - dates you tried to make contact, dates you failed to get a response, details of all communcitaion including that comment. And I would send a written request fro the colleges safeguarding policy and equal opportunities policy.

Original poster

franch · 23/09/2011 10:40

Thanks Blu. Yes I found that comment totally unacceptable at the time and the more I thought about it the more annoyed I got.

Good idea to keep an account of what's happened. My posts on here make for useful notes actually!

The college website says their Equality & Diversity policy - and 'other policies' - can be obtained from their HR dept. I've emailed.

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