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Bullying

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What is normal boys' play and when does it cross the line?

4 replies

BlueberryPancake · 25/05/2011 11:33

I have two DS - this is about my 5 year old in reception He goes to a small school, one form entry, and generally we are happy with the teaching. But I am not happy about what goes on in the playground.

When DS started school back in september, he would often come back home saying that boys were chasing him in the playground and he couldn't play what he wanted because he was being chased all the time. He got over that by 'joining in' the group of boys in question (at that time there were only two of them) and now he is fighting in the playgound, with a small group of boys who split themselves in two groups - badies and goodies! - and the baddies chase the other kids about the play ground constantly. I mean constantly.

DS is often on the side that is being chased and he has been wacked a few times. Headbutted once - big red mark on his face. I am really tired of this beause I have a no hitting or kicking at home - but he does come home hitting his little brother, or hitting us. I know he does it in the playground, and I know that he also gets hit. He said to me the other day 'I can now beat al the boys in my class except NAME.' I don't like him using that language at all. I don't like him fighting. But it seams to me that he can't get away from it and doesn't have any defence and joins in instead of being a 'victim'.

Secondly, there is one boy wh ohas the very bad habbit of calling everyone names. You're a baby, you're a loser, you smelly pants, you po poo head' etc etc. DS is now wacking him in the playground because he is fed up of being called names. I see that first thing in the morning, this morning that other boy called him something (I didn't hear) and DS pushed him. The other boy's mum told my son off, and I was deeply embarassed. But what is DS supposed to do? What do I tell him? How can I encourage him to not react violently if he is called names?

Please I know this is the longest message ever but I need help...

OP posts:
Hassled · 25/05/2011 11:35

This isn't normal appropriate boys in the playground stuff. Who is in the playground with them?
Baddies and goodies is pretty normal - it would be Cybermen vs Daleks or whatever with my DSs - but the hitting/fighting stuff jsut isn't. Go talk to the HT.

BlueberryPancake · 25/05/2011 13:10

It's a one form entry school with 30 children in each class. So infants side of the playground has reception year1, year2 and I think there is only one dinner lady with the infants, so it's one adult supervision for 90 children. Is this standard?

OP posts:
Hassled · 25/05/2011 18:59

We have a MSA per class - one per 90 is insane.

Al1son · 26/05/2011 13:38

People who have researched rough and tumble play have said that, while it's genuine play, small boys very rarely hurt each other. The 'It'll end in tears' comments are usually wrong. If someone is getting hurt this is probably going beyond play and someone needs to intervene.

I wonder if there could be some power struggles verging on bullying here.

I would ask the school to monitor what's going on more closely for a while.

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