OK, so you're probably thinking I'm a bit doolally. Sitting here to write this, I think I am too!
But all through my school life, from the age of 5 right up to 18, I just couldn't relate to other kids. i was bullied, mostly verbally, because I was shy and just never knew what to say to anybody in any situation. Although I did well at school and came away with good grades, I hated going and was really glad to grow up!
I got a nice job after I left university, lost my shyness problems and now I'm fine in social situations with other adults. I make friends easily and I'm confident and chatty and worlds apart from who I used to be.
I have a lovely DS who will be 3 in July and I'm expecting DC2 in September. My son is great, he's bubbly and fun and confident and good with adults.
I take him to a local playgroup twice a week, I really want to encourage him to be sociable and at ease with other kids, though at his age he's not really ready to play with other kids, I don't want him to be scared of them.
The problem is me! I worry that I'm not setting him a very good example because I am really frightened of other people's children, particularly kids that are older than my son. I find it difficult to speak to them when they come up to us, and in the back of my mind, I'm always waiting for them to be spiteful. That's terrible isn't it!
It's not even my son I'm worried about, I'm worried about them being horrible to me! At least if something happened to my son I could step in as the adult and sort it out.
Most of the kids at the playgroup are well-behaved with mums who keep an eye on them, and there has never been an incident of bad behaviour. I really need to nip my feelings in the bud before my son is old enough to pick up on it and feel the same way.
Is there anyone else who feels this way about children? Does anyone have any recommendations about how I can feel more confident with other people's kids and stop reverting to childhood myself?