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Bullying

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Has my DD's School Gone Mad?!

7 replies

spanners80 · 07/02/2011 21:43

My DD is in year 1. We've been dealing with a group of girls, and one inparticular in DD's class bullying her (and others) since the start of reception. Having been assured that it had been swiftly dealt with, we left it alone, with hushed grumblings between mums about this particular child's ongoing behaviour.

We knew this child continued to be unpleasant, but were not aware of the detais (DD just shrugged it off). I didn't push the subject as I assumed I was just being over-protective.

Finally a few weeks ago, everything blew up when a friend of my DD had enough and on witnessing her shoving DD to the ground and pulling her hair he punched this girl square in the face (I have to say I did a little internal happy dance for him, even though I know hands are not for hitting etc, but you would wouldn't you?). At school the boy got into trouble and so did DD for winding up the girl in question.

I only heard about this from the little boy's mum - the school didn't deem it important enough to let me know (grrr). So, I questioned DD and she causally explains that this child pulls her hair / calls her names / hits her on a daily basis and there's no point in telling as she gets told off for telling tales. Cue me throwing a hissy fit at the Deputy Head who assures me that she will call a staff meeting to put a stop to it.

Now I teach in a senior school and if this happened in my classroom choose your deity to help the little b**r who was caught bullying. Swift and sharp action would befall. I have no issue with calling in a parent to explain what their little darlings have been up to (that goes for good behaviour too - I'm not actually some bun toting, tweed wearing dragon... I am working on it though).

DD is in year one, where surely they should be instilling the nature of cause and effect in terms of behaviour. However, today I was informed that action was to be taken (yay!) - my daughter is to be put into a 'special' group where they will be taught 'resiliance training' (huh?). Isn't that then further singling them out for torment from the 'normals'?

Ok, maybe this may help her tell a teacher, but what is the point if no action is taken against the bullies? And at what point did we decide that 'man-up' classes were the new cop out for teacher who can't or won't manage their class's behaviour?

Ok, with the rant over, has anyone had any experience of a child being put in this training? Am I over-reacting just a smidge and if not hhow do I politely tell DD's school where to go with their hippy approach and actually deal with the issues in the school?

phew.

OP posts:
fifi25 · 08/02/2011 10:11

Never heard of risiliance trainng. At my school there is a no hitting policy. Basically what this means is that the class bully can hit my daughter repeatedly. Unless the teacher sees it she wont do anything. She asks the other kids but they deny all knowledge because they are scared of the bully. This happened at least 5 times and my daughter had a large bruise on her chest. She had also told her to f off on a few occasions. Obviously i went into see the teacher but got the same reply. I told my daughter next time she hits you slap her in the face and tell her everytime you hit me i will slap you and tell the teacher your mam told you to hit her back. This worked and shes never hit her again but my daughter got seen doing it so got disaplined. At my school if you get hit and retaliate the bully goes unpunished and the bullied get disaplined?? Worlds gone mad!

CrosswordAddict · 11/02/2011 12:30

Hi I read your post earlier this week and see you have not had many replies. Just wonder how you are getting on. You have my support and sympathy by the way.

Kendodd · 11/02/2011 12:41

If you are not happy complain to the next level and keep on complaining until you are happy. Good luck and don't let this go.

earwicga · 11/02/2011 12:44

No, I don't think you are over-reacting at all.

What the hell are they doing? Resillance training for children who are bullied? WTF?!? What about the child who is being violent?

MissFit · 11/02/2011 19:08

The school has clearly gone mad. Very Angry for you.

Have you asked to see their anti-bullying policy? Does it mention this training?

I would seriously consider pulling my DD out of school and looking for somewhere else if she was being hit on a daily basis and nothing was being done about it.

homeboys · 12/02/2011 19:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ElenStone · 30/03/2011 04:17

First of all, find out what resilience training involves - there's no point in demanding they take her out of it without finding out if there may be any benefit in it for her.

Secondly, demand that the school take action against the bullies. They have a legal responsobility to care for your child in terms of physical and psychological health while she is at school.

A useful read is the UNCRC which outlines what the rights of children are - while your child is at school it is their duty to protect all of these rights, by law.

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