How do exclusively BFing mums do it?!

[Newmum288]

Serious question. I’m pregnant with my 2nd. I would love to EBF but pumped with my 1st, largely so that we could ‘split’ the nights and I could sleep for 4/5 hours in one go before taking back over. I want to EBF my 2nd and not pump, but is there some sort of hack to this?! I know postpartum mums are basically superwomen but seriously how do people manage if baby feeds every eg 2 hours?

Honestly, co sleeping.

I just had the cot next to the bed. Lifted out for the feed without getting out of bed and did a quick nappy check. Dh would change the nappy sometimes if needed and take baby downstairs if they were a bit grizzly after feeding at the weekends or before he went to work. I found I could feed while still not 100% awake so no issue going back to sleep. Also went to bed at the same time as the baby where possible to make sure I got enough rest.

Dh did the first half of the night and I only had to wake for feeds. So he put our eldest to bed and then I handed him the baby around 7:30/8pm and went to bed! I woke around 10pm did a feed, handed baby back and went to sleep. We traded off around 1am. It’s not the feeds that keep you up, it’s the settling and the nappy changes. I started the night with about 5 hours of sleep and then got whatever I could from 1-6am.

Honestly, my first was ff and second was ebf. I definitely found formula feeding to be a much bigger PITA. I got more sleep with my ebf one because no faffing about with bottles in the night. I was much less sleep deprived breastfeeding than bottle feeding because it was comparatively quick and easy and you can do it lying down, which you can’t do with a bottle. Partners can do everything but the feeds so no reason you can’t get a break and some sleep!

It’s brutal sleep wise at times but in the moment you just do it somehow. And pray for a good sleeper. I used a next to me crib. It’s not all bad. It’s very relaxing in the day. A good excuse to sit with your feet up and be handed drinks and snacks. I’ve heard pumping is grim and really hard work. Breastfeeding couldn’t be easier when you’re all set up. And great when it’s your 2nd because you can be at your toddlers whim and baby just comes along for the ride. Rather than realising you need to go home asap as ran out of bottles or whatever. It’s very freeing. You may be pleasently surprised

No hacks here, just did it. I was too scared to cosleep or to feed in bed - no judgement at all but I was too anxious about it - so just got up, sat up and fed him. I was lucky that I got back to sleep fairly easily afterwards. Mine fed a lot. At least every 2-3 hours until about 7 months. Some days I was really exhausted, especially in the early weeks, but honestly it wasn’t that bad, you just muddle through. We also visited 8 countries during my mat leave and it was amazing not having to pack bottles, sterilisers etc so there are definitely pros too, in fact that’s what kept me going as long as I did. Finally started sleeping through at 11 months and at 13 months those breastfeeding nights seem a distant memory! I found pumping annoying and stressful tbh but if it worked for you that sounds a good approach too - good luck! I wish I could do it all over again X

Co slept until they stopped waking in the night to specifically feed, didn’t change their nappy unless they had pooped, I would literally stay in bed with them all night from around 7 until 7, feeding on my side (didn’t sleep with a top on), nappy changes with the dimmest light I could manage with, then the stuff in the day I had a great DH and parents who did a lot of cleaning/childcare (when I had more than one child, not with my first). I also think you just get used to it to be honest. All 3 of mine were EBF, none of them have ever had a bottle. Eldest BF until 2, second until 2.5ish and my third is still going at 1. I went until they were ready to stop, they made the decision not me

I did loads of cluster feeding in the evening then when Ds was finally full about 8/9pm I went to sleep and DH settled him (or not). After the first few weeks I usually got a four hour block till midnight then fed at midnight and 3am and 6am. DH took him after the 6am feed for another couple of hours while I slept before he left for work.
I used white noise to get myself back to sleep as quickly as possible and I mostly fed lying down in the night with a next to me sidecar cot.
No lies. I was knackered. DH also got into a routine of taking him out for a couple of hours after his first feed in a Sat morning. He got coffee and did the supermarket shop with Ds in a sling.

Breast feeding is so much easier than pumping. I had to do a combination with DC2 and can say I found pumping at least 5x more effort than just snuggling a baby.

As EBF, I don’t know how people pump?! In what time?! When do you clean the parts?

We cosleep and just got very au fait with whipping my boob out in public

Honestly, if you managed to pump for a decent amount of time, EBF will be a breeze in comparison!

I had to pump quite a lot with my eldest and I found it so tough. I decided not to pump on that basis with numbers 2 and 3, and it’s been much easier. Co-sleeping helps. I barely feel disturbed and honestly have only felt remotely tired on one or two days since my 9m old was born. I feel a bit like I’m cheating when people talk about sleep deprivation.

Look up relaxed breast feeding. It’s a much easier hold and latch that gives you a hand free for other things and even lets you walk around with a suckling baby.

We also introduced a dummy from early on, so if DS wanted comfort rather than food he’d happily use his dummy. Introduced within a week of birth after the hospital lactation consultant said we’d have to have a really stupid baby to confuse a dummy with a breast… It worked for us.

We took it in turns to sleep in DS‘ room for the first 6 months. On DH‘s night shifts he‘d either have expressed milk in a bottle or pre- milk (formula). So I guess not EBF, but it cut the stress down. DS had the cartons and was happy to drink cold.

I was also very lucky with a fast drinker and good sleeper. It changed in childhood…

The first 6 weeks were really painful. There are things you can do to increase supply (malt is good and worked for me, I also had herbal teas to increase supply). The best thing to heal painful nipples were two little nipple ‚thimbles‘ made of silver the health visitor lent me. Miracle, the rawness cleared up overnight.

I breastfed for 18 months, although obviously not exclusively.

I did it with twins …I just accepted I’d have little to no sleep for a while 😂

Same.

I did the same with mine (one at a time, not twins).

They had a Moses basket at the side of the bed.

I used to hear them becoming a bit restless moving about, so I reached over, brought them into bed with me and fed them before they started crying. Neither they, nor I, really woke up at all.

The first few weeks weren’t as easy as that, but once the feeding settled down it became very simple to do it lying down.

It’s not easy however you feed them. I found BF preferable to having to listen to a crying baby while heating a bottle then waiting for it to cool, no bottles to sterilise. No Formula to make up DH was back at work after a week off so wouldn’t have been fair on him to do night feeds then get up for work. At the weekends, he’d get up with the baby after the first feed to let me catch up on some sleep. That said I was very lucky that both of mine slept through by 9 weeks so it became easier quite quickly.

Mine are older now but i fed in bed as much as I could. Put them to bed each evening and once I was in bed if they needed feeding they came in with me. Both had great sleeping as they grew up. A health visitor told me to not tell anyone I was doing it but a large proportion of the world did. Worked for me and we all slept which was the main aim ! They used to latch on and off. I found pumping difficult as I would pump one day the the next day have sore breasts if I didn’t feed and I was there anyways just ended up feeding them instead. X good luck!

Honestly, at first you just get on with it. I would generally go to sleep around 8pm, and do all of the nights.

When baby number 2 was around 7 months we introduced a bottle for an 11pm dream feed with formula and sleep trained to drop to one wake up. I didn’t do this with my first as I didn’t need to but getting up with a toddler after being up half the night with the baby was a special kind of hell.

EBF I found easier than pumping but the nights are harder. You get used to it and into a routine.

we had a co sleeper crib which was useful.

we tried pumping and bottle btw with number 1 and I was up listening to them cry whilst we waited for milk to heat up so it was completely pointless.

DH used to get up early if needed (5am onwards) and let me sleep in. He’d bring baby to me if needed.

Definitely co-sleep. It was the only way I managed the feeding and got any sleep. I've ebf seven children now and pregnant with my eighth who will be fed the same way.

As per the many other posters, co-sleeping and DH in another room! This had the added bonus that our eldest wasn't jealous that we were all in together without him.

DH is a night owl, so he would have the baby in the sling throughout the evening whilst he pottered, or watched tv and I'd go to bed early. Amazing how often I'd get a 5 hour stretch. I missed my evenings, but was worth the sacrifice for sanity.

When we started doing this DH would bring the baby up when they started rooting, or when he was going to bed anyway which was usually sometime between 11pm and 1am. But then I used to have one of those milk collectors on the opposite site whilst I nursed during the day, which collected enough milk for one bottle so after a while DH would do the last feed of the day with that and I sometimes got even more than 5 hours! Worked for us.

I think BFing much easier than pumping.i fed my first till 2.5 (she was a nightmare feeder and very high demand baby). My 2nd slept 5-6 hr stretches from day 0. And there was a brief period of her sleeping 10-12 hrs around 10 wwwks. She’s now 17 months and seems to wake every 2-3 hrs but I honestly don’t find it that bad. We co-sleep abd I just sort of feed and sleep at same time. I look forward to eventually being able to sleep through the night at same point but I figure it’s what she needs and it makes me feel more connected when I’ve got her in childcare all day.

I think because I was young !
21 with my first & 25 with my 2nd with youth on my side .

Also advocating co-sleeping - would have given up bf much earlier without it. Luckily also had a good sleeper. If not a good sleeper or not co sleeping then as other PPs have said I would say you need all hands on deck for the day time cooking / cleaning/ and not planning in too many activities as can imagine it’s exhausting. There is a weird thing about the newborn bubble though where you kind of get used to a certain level or exhaustion and somehow manage - adrenaline ?

We introduced expressed milk v early on and I really didn’t find it the faff that others have found but i had good supply, a decent pump, it was my first and I suppose didn’t know any different - plus everything is easier when you’re getting a relatively decent amount of sleep. Out of interest @Newmum288 did you have any issues with expressing last time? Just wondering why you are keen to not express. Ofc whatever is right for you and family is what you need to do- just thinking if you have another child being able to express (if you can) might be a game changer as 1st may struggle with you constantly bf and means you can have some 1:1 time with them if partner does an evening feed or something- I also enjoyed the independence that this gave me but appreciate not for everyone

It was a while ago (DC in question is niw a teenager) but I did EBF without pumping for 6 months...

1. lower your expectations for sleep. Lower your expectations for everything else (cooking/housework etc) too. Your full-time 24/7 job is nurturing your baby. If your baby needs milk every 2 hours then you won't be getting any unbroken nights of sleep but this is ok so long as you are not expecting yourself to function as if you were well-rested. If you don't get much sleep at night you will get by with naps in the daytime, so long as you aren't expecting a full daytime schedule that doesn't allow for naps. For this reason you will need to ensure that you have childcare in place for DC1, it would be expecting too much of yourself to be a full-time active carer of a toddler while also trying to survive EBF with a newborn.

2. have a bedside crib. There are lots of styles available now. The one we used was 3-sided and clamped to the side of our bed. Making sure that there is no gap between the baby's mattress and yours is vital, but a crib like this allows the baby to be right next to you and you don't need to get out of bed for a feed, while keeping a totally safe space for the baby to sleep without worrying about the potential hazards of full ved sharing.

3. work on feeding lying down - this doesn't always work, and you may need to experiment with different angles and pillow supports depending on the size and shape of your breasts and the position that your baby is comfortable to latch on from. Once you find the right combination, you can do a 3am feed half-asleep without getting up.

4. ideally (if available) have supportive backup - if your DH can be in charge of any post-feed nappy-change or burping needed so you can get back to sleep that makes a huge difference, but this isn't always possible.

5. be kind to yourself. You are enough, and you do not need to be perfect. You have not failed as a mother if you occasionally need to use formula as a backup

I find the idea of expressing more challenging than just feeding. I didn’t/ couldn’t express and I just can’t see how you find the time!

I have 6dc and the trick is co sleeping.

The hardest thing I ever did pump/combine feed.