breastfeeding help

[anonymous0001]

Child turned 1 a few weeks ago, and we are attempting to slow down the breastfeeding and introduce bottles. My child wont settle on me or have a bottle with me(DAD) yet will go to my partner and pull her breasts out instantly. Am i being unreasonable and trying to rush this quicker than i should or is there anything i can try and do to help. We have tried numerous bottles and teets, and a tried pumping aswell as cows milk. Also, wakes numerous times a night and no idea what to do with another baby due this year.

My daughter, (my third) never took a bottle, but would take a sippy cup/older child bottle that was different ot ababy bottle (there are some with slow release teets/nozzles) that they might take to - it gets the milk in and they still have a nice cuddle and chill before bed, but it removes the link between Mommy and milk, and adds in an association with it being Daddy's milk (if that makes any sense).

You may already have tried, but mine wouldn't take anything unless I was out of the room/house whilst they were still having breastmilk

My little one refused all bottles etc and continued to BF till a few months before 3rd birthday.
That said, dad could settle him when I was out and I did have a few overnights where I was away for work which didn't cause an issue.

There are a lot of lactation support groups that give good advice on gentle weaning etc if you want to try to cut it back.

I only just finished breastfeeding my DC when they turned 3. Children who breastfeed associate their mothers with food and comfort. At over 1 bottles with formula in aren’t needed anyway.

I presume my expectations are rather high for a one year old, he is out first child and we are obviously trying to learn a lot more and how to help and how to do things. I presume getting them to fall asleep is the hardest as a breastfeeder? As it seems that is the only way in which he will sleep, however he still wakes numerous times in the night.

If your partner wants to go cold turkey she can. Or she may want to continue breastfeeding. It’s up to her. Baby will be getting most nutrition from food now anyway

Breastfeeding isn't just about milk, so that's your first issue assuming you can just replace the source. It's also about comfort and bonding.

The main thing to remember is that it is not your or your wife's job to make him sleep, it's your job to make him feel safe and relaxed enough to be able to fall asleep.

If you're calm and patient, this will pay off. If you're tense, stressed and short tempered he will pick up on those vibes.

Do you manage to put your child down for a nap by yourself? I'd start there, my son was more receptive to that. He spent one day a week at home solo with daddy from the age of 1 when I went back to work, and had no choice but to nap with him.

Dad used to make sure he had a good lunch and drink then cuddle him in the rocking chair for a bit before putting him down either sleepy or asleep. You don't need to rely on milk, and actually at 1 you're supposed to be moving away from bottles and on to cups etc.

Eventually when I stopped breastfeeding (19 months) dad took over bedtime - I would read DS a story then dad would cuddle and put him down. He still wanted mum sometimes, especially if he was poorly or very tired or had a very stimulating day, so it wasn't totally cut and dry.

I fed my child to sleep for the majority of the 3 years of their life, it can be exhausting but it was what they needed and now we use different methods albeit take longer. Some children also just need a lot of comfort and regulation before they can nod off. Every parent does 1000 things wrong before they find the right thing that works, and it helps to leave expectations at the door…at least in my experience!