Am I wrong to want to stop breast feeding?

[Mumstheword1924]

hi, I wondered if anyone would be able to give me any advise. My daughter is EBF, 5 months old. I’d intended on combination feeding as I did with my son but she just will not and never has taken a bottle other than tiny amounts (I’ve tried SO many bottle brands & teats!)
she has me up every hour in the night to feed. She won’t be settled by my other half during the night, only wants fed. Past couple of nights she has slept 2/3 hours and I’ve developed an awful case of mastitis. My mental health is in the gutter. I love breastfeeding, all the benefits and the bond it creates but I’m really tapped out. Sometimes wish I’d never started but then feel so bad saying that. I don’t feel I’ll ever be able to stop because she won’t take a bottle and I’m going to have to go back to work and/or sleep a bit at some point. What can I do?!

I can’t offer advice on how to stop as I never chose to breastfeed but I just wanted to say you’re not bad for wanting to!! And as for the bond, I have the closest relationship with my DC and they are very healthy so please stop listening to the pressure to breastfeed. A happy Mum makes a happy child, and 5 months is a lot anyway!

I went through similar to the point I was crying when my much wanted & beloved baby woke up (previous still birth)
My mum drove to an all night supermarket & came back with steriliser, bottled & formula & cabbage leaves and sent me to bed.
Best thing she ever did for me.

I didn't even try next time .great if you can but do NOT beat yourself up. Enjoy your baby

Thanks!! I know, I honestly wish I could do this now but she won’t have a bottle 😭 I took my son out for 5 hours last weekend so my partner could give her a bottle without me there and she just screamed and refused. I could cry all the time!! I’ve told the health visitor and she just pulled a face as if to say oh dear you’re screwed then! 😔

Thank you, I honestly feel so trapped with it now can’t see a way out /how to stop

You can stop at any time, for any reason.

I stopped breastfeeding ds in the night, by getting then husband to put him to bed. Then if he woke up, hungry all he got was bottle from his father.

Me and my smell slept in the other room. Until 3am. I didn't want to stop breastfeeding just reduce it. He cried less this way and accepted bottle from his father and other people. As long as I wasn't around. Dm said he can smell the breastmilk and he prefers it. That is why he cries for it when you are around.

Try the Mam bottles 🍼

@Mumstheword1924 hang in there.i personally think that 4-5 months is the hardest phase. Stopping breastfeeding might not have any impact on her sleep. Can you find a way to have your partner help? Feed and then hand her over, put ear plugs in and sleep? I remember feeling like that this and at the time it feels endless but it will pass. Hopefully it’s about to get easier….weaning can start next month. Food starts to supplement and replace milk, give it another couple of months and it will feel different, less all consuming.

Sorry posted too soon
The Mam bottles are great, they are supposed to be most like a nipple. Well done on getting this far breastfeeding, it's not easy. I combi fed mine and it worked well. Good luck 😊

I had the same.
My Midwife (a no nonsense type) at the time told me no baby had ever in the history of the world Starved themselves to death. She will take the bottle if nothing else is on offer.
Yup - few days of screaming. But she will take it. Moaning and crying all
The way. For what it's worth they cry & moan & whinge whenever you stop.

Don't beat yourself up about it. You've done 5 months! I think that is amazing. I remember feeling awfully guilty one month in when it just wasn't working but looking back it was the right decision for me. That's all you can do, make whatever feels like the best decision at the time. I ended up phoning a doctor as my postnatal depression was so awful and all the messages on the formula packages was really triggering me and they said that sometimes people just need to feel like they have permission to stop so if that's what I needed I had permission to stop. It's really hard as we are hammered with the messaging once baby has arrived and midwives have targets and things. But it is OK for you to stop.

If the crying is getting to you you could try some earplugs?

I agree. You've done your best. Time for a bottle now.

I had a baby just like this. I could have opened a baby bottle and teat shop the amount I bought to try and get him to take a bottle.

What worked? Not giving in with the breast. There were tears. His and mine. He held out for 2 and a half days.

He was a bit older than yours, 7 months. So was having some food and water, which made it a bit easier, knowing he was getting something. But thee bottle that worked was the cheapest one from boots that had handles and a massive teat, it was halfway between a bottle and a trainer cup. I think the handles really helped, weirdly, as he could grab at it. I'll see if I can find a link.

Of course you can stop. You’ve done brilliantly.
Self-care is vital too. Your baby needs a functioning mum and your exhaustion is getting in the way of that.
She will take a bottle, probably better from someone else at first, so rope in other people.
I had very slight mastitis and it was dreadful, so you have my sympathy.