cosleeping and bf promotion

[cantthinkofagoodname]

My PCT has a policy of actively discouraging cosleeping and if you admit to a HV that you do it they are supposed to tell you off and write about it on your notes (I found the PCT guidelines on the internet!) I lie to my HV about it as a consequence...

Given that it's pretty difficult to bf for any length of time without cosleeping (I know it can be done but really don't fancy trying) and that UNICEF seem to be happy with cosleeping as a way to help bf continue past the first few weeks, do you think that the NHS should give all sides of the cosleeping argument rather than a blanket ban which promotes a "don't ask, don't tell" approach?

I don't know about the pros and cons of co-sleeping but I know its not for me. I can't even relax if the side is down on ds's bedside cot. However I think its bollocks that you need to co-sleep to bf and by saying that you do is damaging to breastfeeding. I think its really sad when women say (and actually believe) that they couldn't bf because they didn't want to co-sleep. I have seen threads on here where people have stated to first time mothers that in order to bf you must co-sleep, use a sling instead of a pram, have an intervention free birth, have at least 30 mins of skin to skin after birth, never use a dummy etc. and its really overwhelming and offputting.

As to the NHS, I think they should give all sides otherwise people think that all NHS advice is biased/wrong and it fosters bad relationships between parents and hcp and infantalises mothers. I don't think they should say that its difficult to bf without co-sleeping because its not true and it may put people off breastfeeding because they don't want to co-slep for whatever reason.

I definitely think that the "if you co-sleep you WILL kill your baby" approach is extreme and unnecessary, but IMO getting HCPs out of the 4-hour feeds/must feed for X minutes off each side mindset would be more valuable.

is it really difficult to breastfeed without co-sleeping?

I plan on having the baby in my bedroom with me but putting him/her back into the crib between feeds.

It depends how lazy you are I guess. My mum breastfed 5 of us and didn't co-sleep.

You don't need to co-sleep to breastfeed. But co-sleeping does increase the chance of breastfeeding being successful.

And if an organisation is going for baby-friendly status, they have to promote co-sleeping, and dicuss the safety rules, etc etc. (They also have to discuss baby-led feeding, etc etc, with new mums. It's not just co-sleeping.)

I didn't co-sleep and I breast fed succesfully, don't really see how it makes any difference tbh!

I think co-sleeping has made breastfeeding easier for me (am very lazy) but I don't think it's by any means essential- lots of women BF without co-sleeping. Having the baby sleep in the same room as you is important, but that is recommended by the NHS anyway.

I also lied to my HV to start with about co-sleeping but once I got to know her, I came clean. She was fine with it. Other HVs have been a bit but none of them have ever told me flat out not to do it. My friend that lives in a different area to me was encouraged to co-sleep by several HCPs.

Frowning upon it so much that women feel unable to ask about it is very unhelpful.

I would imagine it is equally difficult to settle baby back in a crib or similar having been snuggled up for a bottle feed. Very frequent BFing through the night is certainly easier and more likely if you're co-sleeping and great for establishing milk supply IME.

Cosleeping helps with breastfeeding because it encourages the baby to feed more at night, as s/he is sleeping next to mum, so smells milk, so wants a feed. Night feeds help increase mum's supply.

Cosleeping, when it suits a mum and baby, means the mum gets more sleep than she would otherwise, which generally means she'll be happier and more able to cope.

Cosleeping isn't for everyone. If a mum isn't on for it (or, of course, if she or her partner meets certain risk factors) then it's not the right thing for her.

Unicef seem to think there's a link

www.babyfriendly.org.uk/items/ item_detail.asp?item=23

obviously you don't have to co-sleep to bf successfully though.

Cosleeping is safer for breastfeeding mums than bottlefeeding, from what I know. Breastfeeding changes how you sleep, so you stay aware of the baby, even while asleep.

Am I the only one whose HV has never asked? I don't see her very often, but conversations normally go like this:

HV: Any concerns?
Me: nope!
HV: OK, see you again soon.

That's it! The only time we see the HV is when I take DD to get her weighed... (not very often)

I do co-sleep though.

My HV didn't ask.

She was a very nice lady and quite pro-BF. Only met her the once though, so she may have been barking.

We do a combo, DS2 is in the cot next to the bed. He wakes up around 4/5am and just stays with us until we get up around 8ish.

Apologies for the name change but this relates to my area of work.

I think that it's perfectly possible to BF without co-sleeping. I'm not that keen on sharing a bed with my DH let alone a baby, it makes me feel claustrophobic.

Co-sleeping carries minimal risk where the BF mother doesn't drink, smoke or take drugs and the baby wasn't prem or low birth weight but given that the vast majority of SID's happen in co-sleeping situations, both in bed and sofa sharing situations, particularly in families where there is drink / drugs / smoking by either the mother or father then the message is that the "safest" place for the baby to sleep is in a cot in your room for the first 6 months. It does NOT say do not bedshare, just that it's safer not to. All literature used by the NHS should go on to say that if you do bedshare then you shouldn't in the cicumstances mentioned above. It should not say do not bedshare per se.

If it doesn't say that then please contact your PCT to ask them why. They cannot promote bedsharing but if you do mention that you are bedsharing their responsibility to you is to remind you not to bedshare in the above situation and to avoid duvets, pillows and anything which could pose any risk to the baby overheating or suffocating.

Unfortunately it's increasingly common for babies to die in bed / sofa sharing situations and the number of healthy babies dying in their cots is very small.

I may be being stupid but I don't understand OP why you think it is pretty difficult to BF longterm without cosleeping? I'm still bf ds (15mo) and have never co-slept. At the most I can see that it could be helpful in the first couple of months when you are feeding all the time but once they start dropping the night feeds then surely it is better and easier for both of you to be in separate beds to get a proper night's sleep? Personally I couldn't sleep if ds was in the bed for fear of rolling on to him/him overheating etc etc.

I agree that the NHS should encourage you to be honest and to provide advice about all the options but given that the risks are increased then imo it is their duty to point that out.

The vast majority of SIDS deaths do not occur in co-sleeping situations; the most recent large case-control study found 54% of SIDS deaths occurring in a co-sleeping situation.

This study actually found FEWER SIDS deaths in a co-sleeping situation than would be expected by chance, when risky co-sleeping cases(smoking, alcohol, drugs and sofa) were removed from the analysis.

Some PCTs are actively working on improving the information given to parents regarding safer bed-sharing and its benefits particularly for breastfeeders.

And if I could take the liberty of quoting from the conclusion of the aforementioned study;

The safest place for an infant to sleep is in a cot beside the parents? bed. Based on evidence from research into SIDS it is questionable whether advice to avoid bed sharing is generalisable and whether such a simplistic approach would do no harm. Parents of young infants need to feed them during the night, sometimes several times, and if we demonise the parents? bed we may be in danger of the sofa being chosen. A better approach may be to warn parents of the specific circumstances that put infants at risk. Parents need to be advised never to put themselves in a situation where they might fall asleep with a young infant on a sofa. Parents also need to be reminded that they should never cosleep with an infant in any environment if they have consumed alcohol or drugs.

Bed-sharing is a very useful tool for breastfeeding mums trying to deal with night feeds. Given that there is no substantial evidence to suggest that it carries any additional risk of SIDS or accidental death (in the absence of known risk factors mentioned above), there is a sound basis on which to suggest that safer bed-sharing should be actively promoted as part of efforts to improve breastfeeding rates... and of course one of the many benefits breastfeeding confers is a reduced SIDS risk!!

The stats on SIDS deaths don't differentiate between accidental or sofa "bed sharing", both of which are quite risky, and intentional bed sharing.

Ok just to throw another one into the loop hear. In a lot of far east and asian countries it's the norm to cosleep with your babies/children. There SIDS risk's also seem to be a lot lower the ours.

which begs the qestion is it cosleeping that's the problem or how we cosleep. What type of bed's and bedding we use ect.

NotQuiteCockney - Is right they didn't differenciate between the type of cosleeping, and falling alseep on the sofa is really quit dangerous.

I think it's very unhelpfull to not give advice on safe cosleeping. Tired parents will cosleep out of desperation some time's it's much better for a HV to give the right advice then just to say no you shouldn't do it.

I've not seen stats that differentiate, no. Maybe someone else has?

Falling asleep on the sofa with your baby is very very dangerous. Babies get trapped between the back of the sofa and the seat, basically. There have been many deaths associated with this. The tragedy is, mums hear that cosleeping is dangerous, they get out of bed, feed baby on the sofa. But breastfeeding makes you sleepy, so ...

And yes, accidental cosleeping even in a bed, is dangerous too.

I believe there are SIDS deaths that happen when parents were cosleeping according to the guidelines we know. But the thing with SIDS deaths is, they are unexplained. Presumably some of these deaths would have happened wherever the baby slept?

Our borough has, from what I hear, anomalously low rates of SIDS, despite having lots of prem and low-birth-weight babies, lots of smoking parents, lots of young mums, and lots of smoking parents. But we do have a very high rate of cosleeping.

Would a baby smothered down the back of the sofa or ubder a duvet etc have his/her death recorded as accidental or SIDS?

Am quite happily and successfully bf 6 month old twins and not co-sleeping. I plan to carry on for quite some time.

Can't imagine co-sleeping with twins is a barrel of laughs.

I certainly found that co-sleeping felt essential to me when breastfeeding frequently in the night. IMO it is helpful because breastfed babies tend to wake more often than bottlefed babies, and as the mother you have to do every single feed. Add to this the fact that breastfeeding releases hormones in the mother which make a lot of women sleepy, and I know that I personally would have found it incredibly difficult to get up, sit up, stay awake for the whole feed and then settle the baby back into the cot afterwards. And then do it all again the next night having had such disturbed sleep.

If you are bottlefeeding you have similar problems, except the big difference is you can share feeding duties with your partner (if he is willing) - but also the smaller things that bottlefed babies tend to go longer between feeds and you don't get the sleepy hormones when feeding (though to be fair if you are that tired I doubt it makes much difference)

I have much respect for ladies who take the first option, I really do, because I sure as hell wouldn't do it - the few nights I had a drink I did the whole sitting up feeding, settling back into cot thing, and it was awful, the drink was not worth it at all! co-sleeping was a necessity for me, and I think it's perfectly possible to do it safely and think that the information should be available for those women who choose to do so. No blanket bans OR insistence that it's essential please!

Wouldn't do it if I had a choice, that should have been, sorry.

I co-bedded with all five of mine, including the DTs. It was my preference, feeding was easy, I never had a problem with them sleeping. They all moved nicely out of my bed. If my ladies choose to co-bed, fine, if not, fine!

Personally, I loved it! Wouldn't change a thing.