is she still benefiting from my milk?

[mollysmum82]

I've gone through pretty much all the breastfeeding issues there are - not latching on, nipple blisters, mastitis, feeding all night, family critism etc but I've been determined to keep going as I thought it was what was best for my little one. A few months ago dd was diagnosed with eczema and her whole body was covered in red, bleeding and dry patches, it was awful. We've been managing it with aqueous creams and steroids and its much better. But now she has also been diagnosed with asthma - we've been in and out of hospital with breathing problems and spent the last couple of days with her on oxygen and nebulisers

So I just wonder is it worth it? I thought I was protecting her with my breastmilk but to be honest I feel like a bit of a failure. I've done everything by the book so to speak - feeding exclusively bm for 6 months, introducing solids very slowly and still feeding bm on demand (often every 3 hours still day and night). She's now ten months and I really wanted to continued to term (till she self-weaned or perhaps till she turned 2 as per WHO guidlelines) but now I think is it really doing her good?

I love breastfeeding her most of the time but it is getting tiring. The family and friend support for it now is starting to diminish as they think I should have stopped at 6 months. I sit in her nursery every nap and night time for hours in the dark feeding her and its starting to make me feel quite isolated.

Sorry to moan, I just wanted to know if anyone had any advice or similar situations? Many thanks

I don't know but didn't want your post to go unanswered. Sounds like you've done brilliantly. Does she still want to feed?

The way I look at it is some children get asthma and excema and allergies but if she had been ff these things would probably have been worse. So sorry to hear of the tough time you and your dd have had.

My ds like your dd was thought to be asthmatic and had been put on nebulisers and oxygen as a baby at 4yo now he is nearly old enough to take the test but he does not have any problems now has not had a cough or chest infection in 2years, so my gp thinks he may have outgrown it. Also try to remember bf is not a magical cure for everything there are so many factors at play bf is just one you can control that can help .

Try not to feel bad this is not your fault and you have done your best which is all we can do .

Really sorry to hear what you are going through with your DD being ill.

As you know, breastfeeding doesn't stop children getting eczema or asthma, it reduces the chance of it - so unfortunatly, your DD is one of the unlucky ones. But your breastmilk will be helping her resist infections, and gives her the perfect nutrition, which should help her through.

When my DS had a lot of problems with his chest (started at 6 months, peaked at 9 months and went on for a while, he still gets very chesty now at 4, but nowhere near as bad as that first bout), and his consultant said that, in his opinion, it was being breastfed that had kept him out of hospital through some of the worse bouts, and advised me to keep feeding as long as possible

10 months can be a trying time as they haven't dropped many, if any, feeds. She'll soon drop more though, and it'll feel more manageable. Why not set yourself some small targets - like, well, in 2 months she'd be able to have cows milk, so not worth using formula for that time. Or, I'll think about reducing bfs to morning and evening, and work on her sleeping through/ going down for naps by herself (I recommend the No Cry Sleep Solution).

There are still some benefits of bf at her age abd beyond. For one thing, your milk is perfectly matched to her nutritional needs. For another, you are still passing on antibodies to help her fight infections. For a third, she probably loves the closeness and cuddles.

There are also health benefits for you, such as reduced risk of some cancers.

I do think she would have developed the conditions she has whatever you had done. Some children are just pre-disposed to have asthma and eczema. That doesn't mean that your milk hasn't done her any good.

If you are really fed up with it, maybe you could consider weaning at 12 months, when she will be able to drink cow's milk. To have bf for the whole of her first year is a really fantastic thing to have done.

Fwiw, I still feed my 22month old to sleep and at times I feel isolated too. I also haven't had a proper night out in all that time for the same reason. But for me personally, the benefits far outweigh the downsides. Plus I know that one day (soon) I will have my freedom back, and I won't for one second regret all the time I gave up to bf my dd.

Aw thanks so much for your replies everyone. I think I was just having a bad day as I'd just got back from hospital with her. I'm determined to go for the whole two years, I won't let this setback stop me! Your kind words and advice are really appreciated xx

PS I do love it really. I love the comfort it gives her, I love the nutrition and immunity it gives her. And I love the cuddles it gives me! It is hard sometimes, but I know its the right thing and its much easier with your support.

I love Elizabeth Pantley's book, it has actually got dd to nap in her cot in the day which is a real breakthrough. But I was trying the "cycle-blender" that she suggested to get dd to have a longer nap (i.e. sitting right by her and jigging her if she stirred) and this was what was making me sit in the dark! But now she's napping longer I'm coming out of her nursery at nap time and I feel so much better for it.

Thanks again