4 month old refusing milk in the day but not at night!

[explodingbosoms]

My lovely 20 week old dd has started to refuse feeds in the day. She normally feeds every 3 hours and has done since she was tiny. Has always been ebf and a great feeder.

Now for at least two feeds per day, normally the first two feeds, she feeds fine for about a minute then pulls away, arching her back and crying if I try to latch her back on. I've tried sitting her up for a minute to wind her, but these days she never has wind so I don't think it's that. I usually swap boobs but it's the same story on the other side. It's like she is determined not to eat! And I know that she is not getting down to the hindmilk. Meanwhile my boobs are massive and leaky.

I've always had a strong letdown but she has always been fine about that so I don't think that is putting her off.

The afternoon feeds are usually better and she feeds properly.

The intuitive thing to do would be to extend the time between feeds I guess. Sometimes she goes 4 hours in the day. But she is still feeding once in the night, and recently twice (so this morning it was 2am and 4.30am). So she still needs the milk, it seems- though she doesn't exactly guzzle it down at night and I wonder if it's just habit.

I suppose she must be getting enough and one half of me says to just go with it. The other half wants to sleep! It's like she's filling up in the early hours then not hungry in the morning. If only it could be the other way round!

Any thoughts?

Maybe she's just gone off breakfast, particularly in the warm weather..?

4mths is a classic time for fussy behaviour, partly because the brain goes through major development (effectively the 'higher', more evolved wiring kicks in and rocks their world) with that they seem to take a leap in alertness - babies will 'mess about' at the breast, coming on and off, wanting to look around at everything that's waaaay more interesting in the room (and leaving Mum to squirt whoever's in the vicinity - thanks).

What you do is, of course, entirely down to how you feel about it and how your daughter seems (are all the classic signs of OKness still there - regular wet and dirty nappies, is she alert, focusing, busy (as a 20wk old can be), skin tone healthy, no sign of dehydration?). Chances are she'll settle down again if you can stick it out. If the night feeds are killing you, you can try the patting/shhhhing back to sleep when she wakes the second time. If she's genuinely starving she'll only give you an extra half hour or so anyway. And she may well not be fobbed off. You have to give it a go to find out, unfortunately!

And this might not be what you want to hear, but firstly two feeds a night is by no means unreasonable for an ebf baby, and they do keep changing their sleep/feeding patterns. For ages. Just when you think you know what's going on...

If you think let-down is an issue you could try leaning back a bit to reduce speed of flow a little (doesn't work for everyone).

For future info, some babies do go on prolonged 'nursing strikes', which are generally short-lived, but this isn't that serious. It sounds like she's still taking milk and is happy with her intake (ie she isn't screaming the place down/looking listless).

Good luck! It sounds like you've both been doing really well with bfing so far, I'm sure you'll sort it out between you .

JUST TAKE A DAY OUT STAY AT HOME CHILL, FEED FEED FEED, ENJOY YOUR BABY AND OFFER HER WATER WITH YOUR PARTNER ONCE OVER NIGHT SO YOU GET MAXIMUM REST! KEEP IT UP IT GETS EASIER.