which came first... sleeping or eating?

[AisieSusie]

not the start of a bad joke, but a question about my ds

I recently posted in Sleep for the same issues [thanks so much if you posted there!], and am going to post an update there now as well...not sure what is really the issue - that my DS doesn't sleep more than 2 hrs max in a row, or that he bf's approx 12-20 times a day at least.

Hoping you can shed some light on what's going on, and how I can get to a situation thats less hard on me!?

My DS is almost 4 months, and is mostly bf, with the odd bottle of expressed milk or occasional formula thrown in. He can't/ won't eat great quantities of milk at one go, and I seem to be constantly feeding him little and often. When I express he won;t take more than 60ml in one go, and when I try formula [in belief it might fill him up?], he won't take any where near enough to eat a whole feed - only about 70-90ml max.

I don't know if this is his choice or due to something else - has anyone else had experience of this? he has also dropped from the 98th precentile to under 50, so something seems not quite right here?

Although he is a happy laid back baby most of the time, he didn't sleep at all in his cot or moses basket, screamed when we tried to lie him down flat, and he ended up sleeping on me or dh, which scared me as not safe and also, left me absolutely exhausted.

One of the lovely lovely mumsnetters recommended a nest/ hammocky thing, which has been great - he now will go down in it and sleeps 2 hrs at start of night and then drops to 1hr 30 and 1 hr at end of night. at that point I take him into my bed and he pretty much constantly breast feeds whilst i doze.

he has other symptoms too, but kind of intermittant, so although he screams when we try to lie him flat at night, he will lie down for limited time in the day now we have bought a v cool mobile to distract him. other symptoms things like horrible painful trapped wind, hiccups, crying after winding as well as before.

We also went to the hv and then gp to ask if he could be suffering from silent reflux. DH saw the GP, and am confused as to the outcome [wish i was there, but couldn't be unfortunately] - the gp said he definitely wasn't suffering from reflux [but not sure if he agreed with the concept of silent reflex], but gave him infant gaviscon anyway, and referred him back to the hospital.
Now my dh says that he wouldn't really explain why he's referred him and shooed him out of the room after, so I guess I'll have to wait and see...
Trying the gaviscon, but hard to give when bf-ing, and with the heat, and he also had his jabs, can't really tell if its working

so questions really:

1. what are your thoughts/ advice about the constant feeding?
2. any thoughts on how to get him to sleep longer/ go for longer between feeds? assuming there is nothing medically wrong with him?
3. any idea why he might have been referred?

thanks so much - so tired and exhausted!

Sounds quite like reflux to me but I am an amateur with reflux. Referral is a good idea as he has symptoms plus a slow down in weight gain.

May be just finding his own level with the weight, or there may be an issue. AFAIK it's qite common to reflux babies to feed vv often as they are trying to comfort themselves/ease the discomfort.

But may be normal, DS fed like a demon at that age and woke after every sleep cycle, couldn't self settle at all.

thanks, I guess thats the problem really, if its normal, then I'm not sure what to do, because I am at breaking point with lack of sleep, and am really scared about going back to very demanding job, as I just can't function like this, but will have to as am only wage earner. oh dear, I feel awful almost hoping its something wrong that can be put right

But if it is reflux, meds will probably help, and they mostly grow out of it around 6m AFAIK

I feel the pain sleepwise though, when I went back to work DS was 12mo, sleeping in travel cot in living room while I was on sofa, waking 4 times a night(so we didn't wake everyone else up with the nighttime torture antics) He still doesn't sleep through but it is much better now.

true, true..

any thoughts on him not being able to eat much at a time?

Have you thought about taking him to a chiropractor? Just a suggestion but sounds like lying down for long periods is a struggle.

I had very similar with DD. She was 8 weeks prem and we lost her twin sister, so I felt that she needed the extra comfort of being very close. For the first 8 weeks or so I held and fed her ALL the time (a sling, particularly the type that wraps around you, a long piece of fabric was best). Eventually I realised I needed a rest. I didn't feed her for 3 hours and put her in her cot (kept checking and calming but didn't feed). After that one evening she has always gone at least 3 hours between feeds, she takes much more milk and was able to sleep better. I felt awful for those 3 hours but it really helped.

At the end of the day you need to decide which approach suits you. Some will say that having the baby close to you all the time will soothe them, others that they need to learn to soothe themselves. I went for a mix of the two.

Sounds like you are having a really rough time, sleep deprivation is just utterly utterly awful.

It does sound v much like silent reflux, personally I don't think the gaviscon is effective. I would (and did) go back to gp and ask for (demand) domperidone and ranitidine, it won't harm to try it and should give you much better results if indeed it is silent reflux. These meds work in a different way to gaviscon and are also much easier to give as you are bfeeding.

I do think that GPs can be v dismissive of crying/unsettled babies and the whole reflux thing.

Good luck x