How long do I need to partially wean 9 mo old DD? back to work in 2 months

[eskimomama]

Hello,

I am still BFing my DD who is just 9 mo now. I'm going back to work in 2 months but I wish to continue BFing in the morning and evenings afterwards.
Atm she is still nursing 2 or 3 times during the day, she's eating solids well, and I've started using a Doidy cup as she's not taking the bottle or sippy cup anymore.

How many weeks do I need to wean her off the breast for day time?
I've heard 5 weeks is advised for full weaning, how many for partial weaning?

Oh, she's allergic to dairy so I can't give her any dairy based formula/fresh milk/yoghurts. I'd love to avoid soy formula as much as possible too, but my main question here is how to start partial weaning properly?

She will be 11 months when I go back to work.

Thanks!

3/4 days for each fed.

So if 2 feds during the day start 3 days before you go back. If you feed twice during the day start a week before you go back.

eg say you are giving 4 feeds, first thing, mid morning, mid afternoon and bedtime.

On day 1-3 give the first thing feed, skip the mid morning fed and then give the mid afternoon feed as normal (you'll be pretty full then).

On days 4-6 give the first thing feed, skip the mid morning feed (you'll have less milk then) and skip the mid afternoon feed. Fed from you at bedtime (you'll be quite full but then).

if you plan to express at work you don't need to start before.

thanks! very helpful. I probably won't express at work.
Should I take longer for each feed if she's not drinking well from the cup? She's never had formula before...

In general how many feeds a day does a 11 mo old need?

If they are having breakfast and lunch probably only first thing, mid afternoon and bedtime? More if not on solids.

Ask HV but for one feed a day maybe enriched oat milk is ok?

I didn't bother pre-weaning my DD in the day - I'm sure it was a bit brutal for her when she was suddenly missing feeds in the day, but she settled down to it soon enough.

I did use my holiday to shorten my hours, though: so instead of having the additional time off work, I worked reduced hours for 3 months. This meant she was only really missing 1 feed.

I don't think I've been very helpful, sorry!

I suppose what I mean is: your breasts and your your daughter will make the adjustment very quickly. So maybe don't think about it too much now, particularly if you find it distressing to let work influence things before you return?

OMG, yes, that's exactly how I'm feeling! last thing I want to start thinking of while BFing is my job coming soon.
How old was your DD when you went back to work?

She was 9 months old.

She did struggle at first, but that was because I fed her to sleep and she didn't otherwise eat very much. So if your DD falls asleep more independently and eats pretty well, I reckon she'll be fine.

I tied myself up in knots before I went back to work. I was desperate to carry on feeding, but convinced I was being selfish and stupid to leave DD 'high and dry' like that. But she coped. And she'd have coped better at 11 months, so I think that is in your favour.

Are you going back full or part time?

I'm about to go back to work and haven't worried about weaning dd (11mo)- I'm back in 2 weeks. The reason is that I've found when I'm not with her she feeds far less frequently anyway, and has gone whole days without feeding when we've been busy or if I've been out (I have left expressed milk, she just hasn't wanted it).

Have you tried leaving your dd for a few hours anyway to see what happens - and leave expressed milk just in case? I guess at nine months she probably wouldn't go all day - but a lot happens in two months.

I'm going back part time, 3 days a week.
But I guess my breasts won't understand it's ok for them to work just part time right?

I've read on MN that 11 mo old babies don't require that much feedings anymore, but she still goes to nap mostly with BF (my fault, I know), so that's what I was most anxious about.

Loopyloo she's not taking bottles, so I suppose the expressed milk wouldn't work either. I have been away from her just a couples times recently (it's very rare that we are separated), and she was crying for me, more than for my milk I guess.

@eskimomama - lots of women work part time and continue to breastfeed only when they're there, their boobs and their babes cope perfectly fine

eskimoamama: then we are very similar. My boobs DO work part time ... well, they are pretty engorged by a Monday afternoon, but otherwise cope extremely well.

And there is no fault re the feeding to sleep - I have always done it, too (still do and she's 18 months now). I think my daughter was a bit distressed in the first couple of weeks of nursery care, but they are very used to dealing with babies who are reliant on the breast and she soon got to grips with the new regime. Her carers used to cuddle and rock/sing her to sleep: hardly a trauma.

I won't kid you: it didn't feel right in the first weeks (although she was only 9 months). But by 12 months, she was happy there and she copes with the transition very well.

If I can be so bold as to give you some advice: it's probably worth getting the nursery used to the idea that you will be feeding there. As soon as DD saw me at pick up time, she was desperate for a feed and I just had to go with it (she was just too distressed if I waited until she got home). She needed this less by about 12/13 months. I also fed before I dropped her off some mornings: she seemed reluctant to go to the carer until she'd had a final feed (perfectly natural behaviour, I suppose).

If they are anything like the nursery we use, they will be unused to continued breastfeeding. I think most people have stopped when they return to work, so the nursery expect an initial transition time, but no more. I had to make it clear what I wanted to do.

The other issue is work wear, of course. Shirts and stretchy tops = good. That high necked dress you've finally slimmed back into = not good! The deferment of my return into grown up underwear/clothes was a minor irritation, tbh

Thanks Druzhok
At what time would you leave her/pick her up at the beginning? I'll have to stick to 8am - 5.30pm... quite a long day without nursing for both of us.

Re: feeding to sleep - does your DD sleep through the night? If so when did she start doing it? Mine just doesn't...and I'm quite convinced it's because of this nurse to sleep association...

I did 9am-4pm at first, then 8am-5pm when she reached a year (and my holiday ran out). If I push it much more than that, she really misses it, so I am still not able to stay at work any time past my minimum hours. Does your DD take a bottle?

Re night sleeping ... not at all. None of that 7-7 lark here! But, on the upside, it keeps my milk going. We co-sleep, too, so I don't really miss out on any sleep myself. She was down to 1 or 2 feeds a night, but has recently (at the age of 18 months) embarked on a feeding frenzy.

It's not for everyone ...

i've jsut gone back to work three days a week (ds is 10 months) and things seem to be going ok - i leave at 7.30am so he has a good feed first thing and i'm back by half four so he has another one then and one before bed (the old feeding to sleep!).

he sometimes has a cup of milk during the day but other days he;s not interested - he never was v keen on formula and bottles. difficult to tell if it's affected my supply - i did post on here asking how you could tell if yr supply had gone down but only got one reply!!

he prob feeds a bit more on the days when i'm not working but i think that's just cos i'm there and it gives him the idea

Druzhok and camflower - Just thought of something else regarding feeding to sleep.
How did your LOs settle for their naps at the nursery (ie without BF)?

Atm my DD is almost only relying on BF to fall asleep, it's usually very quick for naps if we go at the right time, but it still means she's relying on me... So I was a bit concerned for naps at the nursery...

i used to bf for naps or take him out in the buggy and push him around until he dropped off. one day it was pissing down with rain and i couldn't face going out so i put him in the buggy and rocked it back and forth - lo, he eventually went to sleep. the first few times it took a good 15-20 mins but now it's usually 5 mins max, sometimes only a token bit of rocking.

i would do same in the afternoon if i wasn't going out and have been doing that for the last few months. we've got a nanny when i'm not there and she has started getting him to have his afternoon nap in his cot . i'm giving that a go now (although bouncing noises suggest it isn't really working!)

i remember reading threads about bfing and nurseries and people have said they their lo soon gets used to having naps without bf - they do lots of patting and shushing

eskimomama: the nursery staff did everything (from what they told me) they could to get her to sleep. So they cuddled her, sang to her, rocked her in their arms, patted and shushed, rocked her in a pushchair - all options, I think! It was 9 months ago, so I can't exactly remember the timescales, but I think she was initially unhappy with this, but fully accepted it within a month.

Like camflower says, maybe try her in a pushchair yourself. I've had unexpected success with that, too.

I would not stress about this at all. It is amazing how things change in 2 months. When you are not there your DD will not look for the breast. She will make up for any lost feeds when you are together. My advice would be to do nothing just now. Feed as you both want right up to the day you go back to work. That is what I did at a much younger age with no problems.